| A
female
,
*alaw
writes: My husband told me he doesn't love as much as he used to and that he considered having an affair with someone that he works with. He now refuses to even talk about the problem and only says that he would like it fixed.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (5 February 2006):
 Ok against the grain here. So he explained to you that things have gotten so bad for him that he was tempted and not certian how long he could resist if the problem was not fixed. (If the problem is sex..ie you use it as a wheapon he must beg for...or have stopped it compleatly...he's going to be very hostile) Have you rejected him in this way? And everyones response is... leave him????? Not knowing exactly what the problem is....I can't tell you how to Fix it. But, I venture a guess that there is something sexual between you that is not right.Now...average Guy just goes out and Has an affair...then lies about it. This guy is trying to come to you and explain how very unhappy he is(before he leaps)....and warn you exactly how very much he needs some response from you. And all you see is RED FLaG...He might CHEAT. I understand the response...but it is not the core issue. The core issue is Can this be Fixed and discovering a battle plan TO fix it.Check out the How to divorce as friends website...(it will help you understand why your reaction to each other is not working..its not only about divorce...shows you how to fix stuff too) Anyway....Don't dump him just because he warned you he was close to cheating....the alternitive is that he waited til he was at his wits end and DID CHEAT. Thats alot harder to fix than...THINKING about it.
A
female
reader, tayluv +, writes (8 January 2006):
I think that he is rather bold to tell you this. Is he telling you because he wants you to know so you can work on your relationship or is going to go ahead with the affair. If so then suggest counseling and he is determined he is through then get a very good lawyer and hold your head up high.
...............................
A
male
reader, Zabadack +, writes (7 January 2006):
Ok... tell him to do it. you'll file for divorce and get a good settlement.
don't tell me you want a way to stay with this guy? why would you degrade yourself like that? he's scum. nothing more to say about it. you're better off without him.
this is a man who actively threatens to do the most hurtful thing anybody can do to you. that's no husband.
you deserve better because nobody deserves worse.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2006): You have married a man who solves problems in his marriage by threatening to commit infidelity; he is using his marriage to lash out at you. Your relationship with this man is incomplete and empty. Couples fall out of love everyday, some have affairs-but the majority don't announce to their spouse they are preparing to have an affair?! You are in a nasty situation and you are married to a nasty man. I am so sorry, dear. No woman deserves this. I think you should just walk away from this. I agree with the previous reader, If he's considering an affair, then don't give him the opportunity to further degrade you. His love for you is gone. Love and passion are an important part of a relationship, hun. Your soul will dry up and slowly die without it. And now, he expects you to sit back and watch him commit infidelity. What will that do to you? What a cad he is. It's time to put 'you' ahead of him now. Talk with your your friends and family. Gain a huge support system and and get their encouragement. You will need all you can get. My heart goes out to you. Keep in touch. Take Care
Hugs, Irish
...............................
A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (6 January 2006):
 i think the only way to fix this situation is to leave him before he hurts you
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2006): Leave him!!! Don't wait for him to have an affair.
...............................
|
