A
male
age
36-40,
*JZEN
writes:My girlfriend work as a receptionist in a hotel and she really loves her job. i work in the same place as a security guard (that's were we met) we trust and love each other and she shows me everyday and i really love her and trust her too.. we've been together for 3 months now as a relationship but we knew each other for 4 years, she was always the quiet receptionist that loves compliments and she really loves her job and loves to meet new people and so in summer the hotel is very active with students and tourists, and sometimes i see students and men pick on her flirting and stuff..i know its her job but sometimes i see her smile back giving an impression that if she likes if someone compliments her and so, but she doesn't flirt back. the thing is that i find these people on her facebook afterwords it means that she accepted their friend request and she gave them her name :/ i did confront her and told her in a 'joke' way why does she needs to smile and give your name to flirty clients? She answered me that she smiles because of work so maybe she can persuade them about tours and stuff. When i told her that i didnt like that she add them on FB and give them time to speak to you instantly.She told me that they are tourists and they aren't coming back for her and that even if they do she wants only me she says, but the thing is why does she need to give them her personal life details and keep in contact with them?Should i worry about the situation? i mean i trust my girlfriend but these things just make me annoyed and doubtful because i don't see good explanation to have them as FB friends.Please what should i do? It's a silly thing but it makes me angry every time I see a foreigner on her fb wall and its not nice.
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male
reader, AJZEN +, writes (21 May 2011):
AJZEN is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni talked to her today. she was ok with it and she told me that shes not going to do it anymore as it effects me. she was explaining to me why she added them and stuff and i couldn't stand listen to her, i raised a bit my voice while talking and tried to explain about confidence with people and so on. she just listened and told me that even me talk and be nice to other girls, and the argument was escalating. supposedly today we had to meet but we didn't end up in a good way of talking on the phone we like argued about the whole story. i dont want that to happen because of work and really i dont want that she thinks bad on me..after all the convo she told me one thing that she dont like in me. i was like shocked to hear her talking this way, she mentioned the smoke--she told me that i dont tell her when i smoke-- she said that she wants to know when i light a joint and im a regular smoker and she knew it from before. i explained to her that she knew how i am but she was like but u knew how i am! i just stopped talking and told her that its better talk face to face about the situation. she didnt like it and told me that im running away from my problem. actually i love `Mary Jane` and she knew it from before..i hope shes not picking up stories so i get fed up :/
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (21 May 2011):
facebook againall that you have to do is to observe her behaviour and with time you wel know what is going ondont show her your insecurity because if she is hiding something she well get more manipulative actions and it will be very hard for you to find out anything thenI think she is clean and honestGood Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): facebook friends aren't real friends and you are a real relationship so i wouldn't worry.
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A
female
reader, XxMishxX +, writes (21 May 2011):
hey,i see where your coming from, if a partner was doing that to me, i wouldnt be happy. was she doing this before you two were dating? if so it might just be a thing she does. There are two issues here, the facebook thing and the smiling.In any profession involving meeting peolple you have to always remain happy and smiley, thats part of the job, if you walked into a hotel and the receptionist was grumpy and moody i dont think it'll get many customers and why does she do it more when they flirt? because can you really see her slapping the tourists for flirting? or telling them to stop it, they'd see her as moody and not want to come back, so i guess thats something you'd have to deal with.The adding on facebook thing, it is abit dodgy but she seems trustworthy, maybe its really innocent, does she do it with all people? men and women etc? if not then id be a little suspisious. Has her boss told her to do that? maybe if she seems nice and get to 'know the staff' people will think "oh thats a friendly hotel, ill go back there" if its only the people that flirt with her i think you need to have a serious word with her, its only been 3months, maybe she doesnt view the relationship as serious? maybe shes missing the excitement of flirting and meeting people. Does she chat and flirt with them on facebook? what do they talk about? personal stuff of business? if it really bothers you that much just say to her "look its probably all innocent but i really dont like or feel comfortable with you adding the guys that flirt with you. It makes me insecure, if it was men and women i wouldnt mind so much but as its just men, i really do not like you doing it. I know you probably wont meet with them but if you respect me you'll stop"Theres a thin line between business and pleasure and i personally think shes crossing it.hope this helps
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): It's called sales. Check into it.
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (21 May 2011):
If she is adding them on a Facebook account that you have access to look at then don't worry. If she was up to something surely she would try and be a little secretive about it.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (21 May 2011):
 i see where both of you are coming from. it would bother me a little bit if the person i was with flirted with and accepted these people on facebook. but i also see where she's coming from. these people probably mean nothing to her. just another facebook friend.
i would probably just ask her nicely if there's any possible way she could please cut down on the accepting of these friends, as it upsets you. she probably wouldn't like it much if you did the same. whatever you do, just don't attack her. you're both equally right and wrong in this situation.
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