A
male
age
26-29,
jrns96
writes:I have this kind of horrid aversion to certain kinds of people. Let me explain. People with horrible self destructive habits or thoughts. I haven't lived a dandy life, okay? I grew up in the slums of a rough city, the Bronx with potheads and gangmembers, thugs and racist cops. Not racist? How about hearing "Hey, spic! C'mere!" whenever u pass by one of those wonderful men of honor? My dad left my mom early and my mom got involved in an abusive relationship. While nothing was done to me, the hopeless feeling while my mom gets pounded on sucked, quite frankly. When I got older I had friends dying left and right for whatever reason. I moved into a quieter, safer neighborhood and made friends easily. One of these friends recently shot and killed himself. Another got an infection from watever she was cutting herself with and is currently hospitalized. My rant is about, WHY? My life so far hasn't gone too well. People have it worse than me, but here these people are, killing, cutting, drinking, smoking and God knows what else. Why are they doing this? Because they have lived such a troubled life and need to escape. I have never seriously thought about doing any of the things listed above, But you have people with such petty problems saying that things would be better if life just ended.That is so weak a mindset, it disgusts me. But is it? I would suppose so. How could u be so stupid and naiive, and WEAK?! May my friends, all of those whose life has been prematurely ended, rest in peace.
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male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (13 April 2011):
jrns96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is very late, but let me just say to that last anonymous reader that I don't see a reason to see a psychologist as I'm the one protesting irrational self-destructive behavior. Furthermore, my life is most certainly NOT a horror film for me to make money off of. The idea of makng money out of pain is revolting and I would never mass produce something as depressing as this; it'd affect the viewers in a sick and depressing way. Please think carefully of your answer before giving advice to a person severely in need of it. I'm just happy it didn't cause me to do something stupid. Do be more careful when answering a more sensitive person on this site intended to HELP people. Thank you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): first off you took a good first step expressing your pain second your life is a beautiful horror film you could make a lot of money off of. 3rd you need to see a psycologist. 4th you will never be able to remove the pain but with sadness comes life...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): I am someone who tends to have self-destructive tendencies. Life has been difficult for me too, but then I guess everyone has problems and has experienced difficult things in their lives. The difference is in how we cope.
I think some people are more able to cope with unfortunate circumstances than other people. Some people are more emotionally sensitive. I used to become extremely upset if someone walked past me and gave me a dirty look. Why? I was extremely sensitive. I still am, although not to that extent.
For some people, turning to self-destructive methods seems like a solution. I used to self-harm and have felt suicidal at times. If it sounds weak, well I felt weak at those times. I felt exhausted of fighting, like I had nothing left, and it just seemed like the only alternative.
I don't think we can judge how things affect someone. What might mean nothing to one person could be deeply upsetting for someone else. It's just the way it is. People hold different things as important, and those differences will affect what upsets a person and how they choose to cope.
I also very much agree with what tantevictoire said. I feel a lot of self-hatred, and have done for a long time. I sometimes think that if I was to "not be here anymore", I would actually be doing the world a favour. I imagine that people would be better off without me. Sometimes it can be difficult to see a reason to keep going, to keep fighting. And if you feel alone and unloved, unnoticed and unheard, there can seem little point. Mental illness can also affect how a person copes.
I hope this comment isn't too depressing. I guess I am just trying to say that we really can't decide how someone should or shouldn't feel about something, and we should try and withhold judgement of how they choose to cope. I understand what you are saying though. I mean, if someone I cared about seriously hurt themselves or took their own life, I would feel all sorts of emotions too. I think I would feel angry and betrayed more than anything. So I do understand the points you raise here.
Thank you for an interesting article, and take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): I see you age range and read your profile. You're very grown up, unlike by the sounds of other teenage people.
Im glad I friended you.
xoxo
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A
male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (17 December 2010):
jrns96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you TV for the insight on the outlook of a depressed and suicidal person. I am truly sorry for you, for having to endure whatever trial you hadvto to be as knowledgable as you are on this particular topic. And x waz x, thanks for the heads up on my apparently inspiring story for children like me. I love you guys, you're amazing. Take care :}
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A
female
reader, x waz x  +, writes (16 December 2010):
great advice for those who have grown up like you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): I think you are in the right, but it must be sadly realized... people who are suicidal or simply indifferent see death as the commonsensical option. It makes all sense to them from their limited perspective on their life in the grander scheme of things. If there's nowhere to turn, no one around or no one fit to offer proper perspective, they understandably are at a loss for what else they could do to continue on. Often people regard suicide as a selfish act, but many victims feel it selfish to not complete it, to stay a burden to their loved ones or an unproductive citizen to society. Very very depressing, but true.
From someone who knows more than one ought on this topic... t.v.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): People go through a lot of pressure and feel the need to just stop going through it or find a horrible way to cope.
I've been told, "It takes more guts to stay then go unheard". Meaning that if you stay and go through it, it will make you stronger and willing to help those who feel what you felt.Rather then leaving the life you were given and going without your dreams for a better future.
I can not tell you how many times i tell myself that.
The best anyone can ever do is hope for the best and stay positive even through the negative. Life goes by quickly, even if you live to be 100.By the cosmic calender, your average life span is 16 seconds...How can anyone not see 1 second is only the beginning...
I do wish you good days to come.Keep your head high and remember how far you've come :)
xoxo
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A
male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (13 December 2010):
jrns96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you both for the show of optimism and reality. its very rare that u find someone who is capable of being realistically optimistic. thank you for the advice and i wish u both luck for whatever inevitable trials u will face before u can rest in peace. and i appreciate the comments made about my maturity. they do not go unnoticed
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A
male
reader, angelluvr +, writes (12 December 2010):
First off you sound alot older than your age and secondly you seem to have your head on alot straighter than alot of grown ups I know. All I can say is, move away from the bad people around you that have a negative outlook on life and stay positive and get your education. Keep your chin up!!
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