A
male
age
36-40,
*hilwatson
writes:I'm really depressed and upset. My girlfriend of 3 years, whom I met at college, dumped me a few weeks ago saying she wanted to be on her own.We met in college in our final years and although I fancied her I didn't make a move because I was going out with someone else. Once that relationship had ended I was obviously upset but several months later I got together with her and we took things real slow. We went to uni together studying different subjects at diffent parts of town, and her family liked me although they pushed marriage quite a lot. We spent lots of time together and she became my best friend, we went to different places like the zoo, theme parks, cinema and so on and things were going really well. When I got an offer to come to my new university I decided to take it and we said that we would keep in touch and I'd come back every other weekend. In the weeks running up to me going she would tell me how much she loved me and would miss me and didn't want me to go but knew I should do.When I first arrived it was hard for me to make friends. I'm kinda shy and being the youngest on the course can make it difficult, so I used to call her quite a lot. She was also starting her professional training, at the same place we studied together and found the work very tough.A few weeks ago we had a stupid row and I thought that things would be fine but she told me that she wanted space. We decided not to have contact for a few weeks. I went to go and see her for a coffee last weekend and she was very cold with me. On the phone she made out like she was so busy with work but face to face she was telling me about all the things her and her sister had done and her knew friends. She has completely changed, even in just 9 weeks, and seams as though life couldnt be better without me. It made me feel worthless and I don't know what to do.My computer is full of pictures of us together and I keep thinking of the past when I'm alone. People say to me time is a healer but at the minute each day is such a challenge.
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Delete them then, there are gonna be shit loads more in the future. Enjoy! xxxxxx
A
female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 I'm sorry to hear this happened to you.
"Time heals" is so often said that it's cliché, but there is truth to it as well. Unfortunately, nothing is going to make this situation instantly better for you...but you can make it easier on yourself. If you keep looking at these memories of you and her together it will be like re-opening the original wound every single day. Delete those pictures or, if you can't bear to get rid of them, save them in a file you won't randomly stumble across. Or print one or two out to keep tucked away somewhere and delete the rest off your PC. It doesn't sound as if your ex wants to reconcile so you have no choice but to move on, if you can. Good luck.
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