A
male
age
30-35,
*lex343
writes:HelloIn the past I have had quite a few relationships that ended badly and im not in good terms with my ex'sMy last relationship ended because my girlfriend cheated on me then dumped me for her ex that she told me she hated and never told me why. This has affected my self esteem and it took a while before i got into another relationship.My current girlfriend has just become friends with her ex after hating him. Though i know she loves me and wouldnt do the same I cant help but think that its happening excatly as before and Im going to lose her as well.i confronted her about it and she says she wouldnt ever and that they're just friends but i still think she will although I know she wont.I need help getting over my past and I dont know how,I dont want my insecurites over my past to destroy my current relationship but i cant help it.What should I do?
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cheated on me, her ex, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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male
reader, whiteelephant  +, writes (17 October 2010):
ven speaks the truth. shes gotta cut off her ex or you gotta ramble
A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (17 October 2010):
When I was much younger I went through something similar. Self-esteem is beaten to the point where it wreaks havoc on your ability to make decisions.
What you need to do, and this is the best thing you can do, is the following:
Take a breath and ask yourself, "Can I handle a woman who is friends with her ex?"
If you can, great! I would guess that the reason you are asking this here is because you can't, in which case you need to talk to your girlfriend again. It isn't a confrontation, you aren't giving her an ultimatum, but simply tell her that based on what your past has done to your self-esteem you can't be in a relationship like the one you are in.
She either likes you enough to ditch her past, or is too attached to her past to move on yet. But you need to realize that those are the two options on the table: either she cuts off exes or you need to walk. She can attempt to push you into letting it happen, but if you haven't reached a point where you can handle it the whole thing will go down in even bigger flames.
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