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male
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*irk
writes: I have been seeing my partner for 5 years. She is divorced with 2 children one 17 one 19 boy and girl. We honestly had a good relationship. She lives over 40mins away but has her own business very local to me in fact just round the corner. I found out through a mate that they had seen her car on nights at her ex husbands ! I didnt think that much of it at first and she said she just popped in to talk about the kids, she never had a good relationship with her husband after the divorce. It seems she has been going round on a lot more occasions than she has told me spending hours and hours there. She says nothing is going on but they are now very good friends!. We fell out over it had big argument and she told her family that we have split up. We got back together but now wont let me stop at hers and tells her sister and children we are still split up. ! am i wasting my time here shoulkd i bite the bullet and move on.. she says she still loves me and i love her but we just cant seem to get a grip to getting back to what we had...heeelp
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (5 March 2006):
 Hi there. while i understand that your partner should have a good relationship with her ex for the kids sake, i sincerely dont think she should compromise the relationship she has with you if she truly love you.
My own suggestion is that u have to let her see your point of view. If she intends to go see her ex then at least she ought to inform you so that u know and are certained of the relationship she has with him. Going down to see him at night without you knowing isnt fair and of course will give u doubts on the state of their affairs.
Also, i see no reason while she doesnt want others to know that u have settled your problems. If u two are really serious her kids should also be a big part of your life.
I thinking it will be better to have a discussion with her calmly and let her know how u feel and what she really means to you. Perhaps the issue here is lack of communications.
Take care dear and i hope i helped abit.
A
female
reader, lian +, writes (5 March 2006):
you need to sit down and have a serious talk and find out exactly where both of you want things to go, the fact that shes reluctant to tell other people isnt a good sign but that could be down to a number of reasons, you both just need to be honest with each other
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