A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my partner does not show me any love or affection or tells me that i am important. this has been going on for around 18 months now and he knows how i feel but he tells me its alll in my head. i have asked if we can go to relationship coulcelling but he shows no interest what-so-ever and tells me he hs happy with the relationship and again its all in my head. he is so hard to talk to and when we do try to discuss things that go wrong he watches tv and shows no interest at all and shruggs it off. we dont communicate much at all theses days and because we dont i am very quiet, he then says i am moody. i just cant win. how can i make him show love and effection again? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): I've been going through the same thing on and off for the last 3 years, in fact this is the biggest one ever. I've tried everything ... I'm so worn out of ideas and hope.
Last night I asked him if my happiness was important to him, his answer was "of course it is". With that I tried to explain to him affection is an expression of contentment and I don't feel he's content with me, therfore I feel unhappy. I still don't think he get's it ... the only advice I can give you is to take action in some shape or form as it will torment you the longer you leave it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007):
hi i just wanted to say i had the same problem as yours its a very had thig to change someone to i was involed with a lady for almost two years and i couldnt even get her to hold my hand in public, it was like she was ashamed to be seen with me .. i asked her if there was something that she didnt like about me and i really doubted myself for awhile ,, and asked if she was ever going to show me any affection, nothing has changed well i fell in love with a wonderful lady and we have been spendin all ourer time together ,, and she is open and carin,, i know this aint going to help you so its your choice just ask him whats up and see if it doesnt change well ,,,,,
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A
female
reader, Shelley-jade +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Your partner may not know how to show he's feelings maybe he lost someone that was close to him Maybe he can not show you he's love because he's scared he'll lose you. Show him how much you really love him, maybe leave him little notes on the side where he goes most. Make sure he understands that you need that love that he is not giving you. Have a nice quite night in light some candles relax on the sofa. Re-kindle the old flame.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Maybe he's just not that type of guy. Some people need to show/receive affection constantly to survive and others feel that they show they love the person enough to not have to say it and therefore don't. You've asked your guy about this and he says it's all in your head so he obviously still cares about you. I don't want this to sound insensitive but I don't think he needs the counselling but it might help you understand why you need to be reassured all the time.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Making relationships work is all about working together, being a team, and being there for one another. It sounds to me like you are the only one doing all the work to try and keep this relationship together.
The counceling would be a good idea if you feel you have got something to salvage.
Tell him you are a breaking point, and something has got to be sorted out soon, if not i can't see you going on like that for two much longer.
Some people you need to light a rocket under their bum to get them moving, lol. I think this may be the case with your guy.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, NenaUnique  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 ok girl what you have to do is go out one day with out him of course and by new sexy clothes but slutty but sexy and comfortable, then go to the hair salon and change your hair a bit..you can cut it if its too long. or make layers highlights..something that will catch his eye and say "oh my,how nice!"
maybe he is just bored in the relationship and if you really do love him then you wouldnt let the relationship fall..oh and dont be all up in his face..nor ask too many questions (most men hate being questioned)and if you do change a bit dont ask him "how do i look" you let HIM be the one to say something first..and if he doesnt say anything..then SOMETHING FISHY is up.
*Valeria*
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (16 January 2007):
 It sounds like hes been taking you for granted for a while now. What you need to do is make him see how much, what I would say is move out to a mates or your parents for a couple of weeks and see how he reacts, if he doesnt miss you or mend his ways its time that you moved on, sorry
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