A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I’m in a relationship now for 6 years but he is so annoying at times he makes out as though I am thick and I know nothing about anything im always wrong in everything I do from tidying the house up after his mess to looking after our son I work 2 jobs he works one that is really easy as well as looking after our son and juggling 2 jobs and tidying up he does nothing at all he is so lazy earlier he asked me a maths question and as it’s the end of the day been to 2 jobs and looking after our son and everything else I’m exhausted by the end of the day it took me a little while longer to answer then it would if i wasn’t tired so he stood there in front of me I already know the answer so I want you to tell me this is what he said to me he spoke to me like he was talking to a child what do I do in this situation Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2019): The guy is a meanie, OP. And you have bent over backwards for him. And all he does is bring you down. Why? He's insecure, immature and lazy. Maybe he feels trapped? Did you plan to have this child together? Was he really ready for the commitment a life shared with you and your son? It doesn't seem like it. You go in circles because you don't want to leave him. But eventually you have to confront the truth. Can you keep living this way?
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 January 2019):
 In your shoes I would turn round, look him in the face and say, very firmly and slowly, "Do NOT speak to me like that. Who the hell do you think you are?"
So he thinks he is clever because he can do maths whereas it is not one of your strengths? If we were all judged on the same level, fish would be deemed thick because they can't climb trees, lions would be deemed thick because they can't fly, etc. We all have our strengths. Yours is being hard working and a good mother. His is . . . what? Being condescending and lazy?
I would be telling him he either shapes up or ships out. You and your son deserve better. When your son is a bit older, he will watch his father talking to his mother like she is an imbecile and will assume this is the way men should talk to women. Is that what you want for him?
Sweetheart, you deserve better. Lick this lazy condescending article into shape or walk away and leave him to some other poor luckless woman. You can do better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2019): Is this all new to you? You've been with this man six long years! Why do you let him make you feel thick? You work two jobs to his one, and still manage to be a mother and housekeeper! Nothing anybody could say would break my stride; knowing I can do all that!
He needs self-assurance who the man is. You seem to be topping him at the moment; and he's making sure he beats you to the punch. Before you ask him why you can do all this, but he can't?
In a relationship that seems uneven; the main target an insecure man aims for is his woman's self-esteem. He knows if he disables her self-confidence, it protects his male-pride and sensitive ego. You won't get to tell him how inadequate or inept he is. Maybe you have a time or two? Maybe more?
He already knows that's the case, but preempts being told during a heated-argument or disagreement. It's an attempt to disarm you and keep you from suggesting he needs to up his game! He likes things as they are, and he knows you can see the difference. I'm sure you've even told him, if you could articulate it so well to us!
He also knows that big question is going through your mind! "When is he going to show that ring and pop the question?" If it has never crossed your mind, why are you putting-up with this??? Are you afraid he's only there for his son?
Demand him to stop insulting your intelligence and degrading you around your son. He'll learn to disrespect his mother and other women. He doesn't have the manly-nuggets (balls) to marry you; and give his son birth-rights. Yet you complain to strangers when you have all the power in YOUR hands!
You must do what's best for your son and you. If he disrespects you, while you're working your ass off; that's a pretty good sign you'd make a great single-mom, until you find someone better. In other words, you can do bad all by yourself, without his assistance! Child-support would be for the sake of his offspring; you can handle the rest! If he wants to be a good father; don't deny him the right.
Don't count on changing him. That's what the post is about. Tell you how to change him. Maybe you have to change the situation, and yourself!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2019): I am not playing the martyr everything I have said is true I came here to get some advice not be had a go at about my situation it may sound like something small but when it’s becoming a frequent occurrence it’s not a nice feeling so if you’ve got nothing decent to say then don’t bother
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 January 2019):
 Tell him how you feel.
If you want to stay with him then give him a chance to change his behaviour and if he doesn’t then find someone who respects you.
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A
male
reader, Phil052 +, writes (10 January 2019):
 You need to tell him you find his attitude hurtful.
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