A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi dear cupid. In November last year I found out my then boyfriend is a registered sex offender and has seven years to go on the registry...I took a photo of the paper I found as evidence.he was never going to tell me... I walked away earlier this year because I couldn't bring up future children knowing that, and I have found someone new who is wonderful! however, I can't get my ex being a sex offender out of my mind, and I'm so tempted every day to tell his house mate about it because his house mate has small nieces and nephews, including wanting to tell his dad who doesn't know cause his dad has young children...I'm also wanting to tell the other women he gets with (if he ever gets in a new relationship)I don't want to ruin my exs life more then it already is...If it were you, what would you do!?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2021): I would contact the local police and let them know of your concerns. At the very least, they can check on him to see if he is following the rules that he is supposed to be following.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (28 April 2021):
 I agree with the anonymous aunt who suggests you voice your concerns to the police and leave them to deal with the situation. There are many levels of "offence" and you don't know if the children with whom he has contact are in danger from him. Personally I would not be able to walk away without speaking to the police about my concerns, for fear that the children in question may, indeed, be in danger. The police should have access to the full details of his crime and can decide whether they need to take any further action to safeguard the children in question.
It's intriguing that you have had this information for 6 months yet are only now questioning whether to do something about it. I hope your motives are as altruistic as you make out .
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A
male
reader, Briar88  +, writes (28 April 2021):
@ the female before WiseOwlE A child rapist is not necessarily a pedophile. A pedophile is sexually attracted to prepubescent children. That does not make them all rapists, most go they're entire lives without offending in anyway. Hell a lot of true pedophiles would rather die than harm a child in anyway, more so than most adults and parents. Most pedophiles are forced to suffer quietly in fear because if one of them said anything at all about their predilection then their life would be over, either through stereotypical hatred for something they haven't done and often would never do, or worse being killed by an angry mob, it has happened in gay bashings, with the innate misdirected anger.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2021): In the state of Ohio if the cops catch you having sex with your SO in your car in the dark say in a public park you will find yourself on the state sex offender registry.
If you are 19 and your SO is 17 you will find yourself on the registry for 10 years.
Leave him alone and get on with your new wonderful person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2021): Well I have heard from his ex wife that it was 13 year old girls in school uniform. He didn’t know I knew the ages but he said “nothing bad just photos and videos”
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 April 2021):
 I agree with Honeypie.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2021): I would just call the cops tell them what you found out and that he has access to children.They can look up what he did and if it warrants their attention they will handle it.Then let it go.That is all you can do.You cannot babysit him the rest of his life.Let the cops handle it then walk away guilt free.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 April 2021):
 For me, it comes down to what "level" of sex offender he is. My oldest went to High School with a boy who dated a girl a few months younger than him and when he turned 18 HER parents called the police on him and now he has a record. Yes, they know that the daughter was seeing him and had no problem until he turned 18.
So this kid is now a registered sex offender. That seems unreasonable to me.
In some states in the US public exposure - like a man peeing somewhere in public (while it's gross and all) can ALSO end up on the register.
BUT someone who is a WHOLE grown-ass adult trying to date or molest or rape a minor (or adult) gets no second chance in my book. I don't believe a rapist, pedo or sexual abuser can be reformed.
If he is on the defender's list due to child molestation, I would contact the law. Then HIS parole officer can do what needs to be done. I don't think I could sit idly by IF he was a child molester.
Sorry, not sorry.
The fact that he NEVER told you, says a lot about him. There is no remorse there.
Also, you don't know if he told his housemate and if his housemate is ALSO on the register.
You know he is on the register but do you know FOR what exactly?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2021): Move on. His life is no longer any of your business. You have a new man in your life. Focus your attention on him and yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2021): You don't want to ruin his life more than it already is but you are itching to tell everyone?
It's not about my thinking he needs protecting more that he has been given his punishment, surely the probation know who he lives with and where?
More than anything you have moved on and rightly so, you are focusing on your past, which you got rid of and rightly so.
Peadophiles don't come with a warning or it taped to their head, it's not your fault and your distaste is understandable but it seems like you are letting it affect your here and now, ask yourself would you gain comfort and peace of mind to relax?
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