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My partner hit me, and I'm 10 weeks pregnant with his child. I'm confused...

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2008) 18 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *lareann writes:

i am 10 weeks pregnant and have a child already to the same guy, he argued with me because he wanted the house tidying and because i said i was changing my daughter he cme up to my face and threw a tea towel at me in my face so i went in to his face and told him never to do that again and pushed me so i pushed him back then he hit me. wot do i do am confused.

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A male reader, zoso32908 United States +, writes (17 February 2008):

I dont know about these situations but being a male i know. If he hit you once he will probably do it again, shouldn't have to go through that

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008):

Yes I can understand what you are saying is frustrating, but I am laid in the living room writing this right now and the replies you have had are very women orientated. My partner is also pregnant, 15 weeks in fact and when we argue she hits me every time, hard and around the face. I am one of "the boys" as you would say but would never hit women. Tonight, she hit me around the face after moaning I was on the computer and I l reacted by slapping her back out of instinct(she really hurt me). What right do you have hitting us and expecting us to just expect it? You will definitely have plenty of women saying leave him, but how many people would tell me too leave her. Hitting anyone always hurts but women can’t just go around hitting men and not expect a reply. Know doubt there will be plenty of you out there thinking I’m talking crap but men have rights too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008):

Leave this man now before the baby is born. He sounds unstable and not a suitable father or a loving, caring partner for you. Chances are his 'abuse' will get worse in the future. Look for financial/medical assistance from the goverment if you need to, they are there to help single mothers economically. Also research the internet for advice on single motherhood and support groups. Do you have a loving family for support? This could make all the difference in the world for you and your child. You must be young.... know you can find another partner.. one who will allow you and your child to feel secure...i know this can happen as it did for me long time ago and now my son has grown into a wonderful, responsible young man and.. sadly his father continued on to be a loser.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008):

I can't help but point out that if there were no kids, you could just walk away so easily.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008):

I agree with the other posters, there is never any excuse for this kind of behaviour and you and your children deserve better. Speak to your local Domestic Violence co-ordinator who will be able to help you and your local council will be able to advise over housing and support for you. If it was a one-off maybe he could have some anger management counselling, but if it is not, get out now, he will not change. Good luck and hope it all works out xx

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A male reader, 4U2NV South Africa +, writes (3 January 2008):

Sweety sorry to say but your BF is a real A$$hole, please forgive my language, but No MAN on earth has the right to even Lift a finger to a Woman, More esspecially a Pregnant woman. I 1ce hit a guy in a club for hitting a girl, i dont like that at all. So Hun please do yourself a favour and Dump Him before things get really bad, Please just do it for the sake off your Kidz.

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A female reader, Sparkly_Stars United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2008):

Sparkly_Stars agony auntI'd leave him!! Once a guy knows he can get away with being violent to you, he will guaranteed do it again! You don't deserve this, and your innocent unborn baby definitely doesn't deserve to be brought up with a violent abusive man like that around!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008):

seriously leave him, my now ex boyfriend punched me twice in the face & hit me in the nose with a beer can fracturing it over something equally ridiculous on new yrs eve (i.e. 3 days ago) & i ended up in hospital that night over my nse. leave now for your childrens sake, i grew up seeing my father abuse my mother and look who i picked as a boyfriend. the cycle will continue, trust me.

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A female reader, deejayanna United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2008):

deejayanna agony auntleave the him!

no person walking this earth has the right to hit a pregnant woman!!!

i wish you all the luck in the world!

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A female reader, adinl United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

Absolutely 100% leave him, I promise you he will do it again. I bet he drinks every day and promises he will stop doing it - he wont - go now and find someone better

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A male reader, JohnR United States +, writes (2 January 2008):

JohnR agony auntTough call here. If he has done this before, I agree that you should get out of this relationship as fast as possible. If this is the first time, then make it a learning experience for both of you. I know it's not your fault, but if you are pregnant, you are more emotional and hormonal than usual. You BOTH need to calm down and make it work. People will fight and argue, sometimes it can get a little physical, but if it is habitual, then there is a major problem somewhere. Was it just a screaming argument and he pushed you away? That would be OK. Or does he always come after you and tried to 'actually' hurt you? That is very very bad and you would need to run away from his as fast as possible.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

Fairy_Lu agony auntHas this happend before i know its been asked but really think about it really search your mind because to be honest usually its starts off gradually before it becomes serious and you end up in hospital.

Your pregnant you have a child do you trust this man not to hit you or your children again, do you trust him to keep his temper in check? If you have doubts doesnt matter how small if theres even the slightest oppurtunity then leave him (probably best to do it while he is out just incase)but if you just think its a one off thing then good luck to you.

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A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

Dawnie agony auntHi, there is no excuse for violence, especially when the victim is pregnant. Has he hit you before?

I know you have one child and another on the way, but if this man is hitting you then you need to make yourself and the children safe.

Only a coward hits a woman and if she is pregnant that is even worse. However i do not know this man, was it just a spur of the moment, did he regret his actions, and most importantly Will he do it again? If this is unusual, talk to him, but if not get out, fast....

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A male reader, Dr Vendetta United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

Dr Vendetta agony auntTime to pack the bags and head off to gran and granpa's.

my dad hit me once.

Once.

abuse to women is unforgiveable.

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A female reader, x-Happy-Feet-x United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

x-Happy-Feet-x agony auntyes i agree with tellulah i think you need to tell him straight he is not a child and should not be like this to you especially your pregnant and infront of a child anyway so i think you need to tell him i hope for the best because you will need his support but if he carries on you need to tell someone who will protect you maybe family and even police dont let him bully you ok xx hope this helps and take care of yourself

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntHi Honey,

Has he ever hit you before?

You need to stick up for yourself and leave him for a night or two alone to think about what he has done. Dont ever put up with a guy laying his hands on you like that. A short sharp shock may make him think twice about losing his temper again.

BUT if he has done this sort of thing before. There is no answer but to get away from him. I can tell you from first hand he will not change, and he may get worse.

Look after yourself, and the child you already have. Its not the sort of thing that a child should see, and can effect them for the rest of there life.

XX Take care

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

Leave him !!! I know it's hard especially because you're pregnant, but this guy has no respect for you or your unborn child. Don't kid yourself into thinking that this is a one off and things will get better... they will only get worse. I stayed with my abusive husband for 5 years thinking that things would get better and he wouldn't hit me. But I wished I had gotten away sooner, he even hit me when I was holding the baby in my arms. You need all the help you can muster from your family and friends right now..please leave him as soon as you can. I really feel for you, but in a few years time you will have a good life and independence, even though that seems faraway at the present moment in time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

I am passing on the advice I was given look up the website for Refuge. You can speak to a free advice line if its easier. It might be worth it. Stay safe and do not be bullied.

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