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female
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*exicangirl
writes: I have been in a relationship with my brother's roommate for nearly two years. We are both 40 years old. My brother has taken this extremely badly but won't explain why. He won't speak to or associate with me anymore but acts normally with my partner. Because of this hostile atmosphere, my partner and I spend pretty much all our time at my place. Tonight, after my two years of bill-paying and grocery shopping, I brought up the subject of living expenses. He said he thought he paid his way and when I disagreed, he stomped out. Although he shops occasionally for a particular evening meal, he has never offered money towards electricity bills or general grocery shopping - it was starting to make me feel resentful and it kind of blurted out. Do I have a future with a man who doesn't understand where the food in the refrigerator actually comes from....?!
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female
reader, missdee +, writes (23 September 2005):
This man is a waste of your time. Any real man would pay his way! You sure wouldn't have to ask him to either. You deserve someone much better. I doubt this man respects himself much less you. Find a real man, one that will appreciate you, and will carry his weight.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): Glad you said something. If he's really nice to you, that's great. But you're not really appreciating his niceties because in your heart you know he's taking advantage of you. And how nice is he really when he lets you support him?
It's a sad fact of human nature that people will take as much advantage of you as you allow them. Does he not have pride enough to at least offer to pay for one-half the groceries? Sit down with him and write out a budget. Let him know how much he has to contribute if he continues to eat your food. You've already told him and if he further refuses, then tell him he will have to find somewhere else to go enjoy his meals. He could change, but only if you keep demanding your rights. You were right to stand up for yourself. Keep your self-respect intact and keep insisting he help you with the groceries.
Hugs,
Irish
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