A
male
age
36-40,
*eilWigan1984
writes:I'm 25, and my boyfriend's 24, we met at a gay men's football club, and have been together for 18 months now.We moved in together in March, he proposed to me and we started planning for our civil partnership, and life was good up until last Wednesday, when I discovered he'd been sending sexy emails to someone else. (I also found them in the inbox)Apparently the emails were sent to these women called "Joanne", "Danielle" and "Laura", and they were fairly X-rated, and rather sex-filled.I don't want to seem like I'm snooping/jealous, I wasn't, we have a shared webmail for our Internet account. I only discovered it in the outbox when I had checked to see if my sent mail had gone through - I'd sent some personal details to someone who I'd bought some goods off Ebay.com from - the goods were specialist ones.I have tried to handle this as sensitively as I can, but he just won't discuss it - is he having an affair or not?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Umm, dude if he is gay and wants to start a civil union with you, why the heck is he sending sex filled mails to women? Seems to me that he is confused or bi sexual and intends to cheat with women.I don't think you need to ask if he is cheating, he won't talk, the mails are there, what more proof do you need?If your idea of a civil partnership is to share him with others, then cool, if it isn't then you know you need to move on from him.
A
male
reader, Anadin +, writes (21 October 2009):
 personally i would see this as cheating, why flirt when you are already in a commited relationship and supposed to be in love with someone?
for me to accept what has been said to these women or anyone while inside a relationship already, there would have to be a pretty good reason.
ask him again in a friendly caring fasion, if he does not open up about it and talk to you about it i would think its time to re-consider the proposal, dont let him have his cake and eat it. importantly stay calm and keep your nerve.
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