A
female
age
30-35,
*oftballplaya
writes:hello everyone.I'm having a huge problem. Me and my friend have been talking for a while and we really like each other, we recently began dating and it will be a month soon. He treats me exactly how I deserve. So caring, and nice, just really makes me feel loved I haven't felt like that in a while...There is only one problem..His ethnicity and how it goes over with my parents. His race isn't accepted by them. My views and my parents views are totally different. But you can't help who you fall for or who your meant to be with. I tried to explain this to my mother but its not going how I planned, sometimes she seems to understand where I'm coming from..other times she gets really mad. I really like this guy and its not fair that my parents can't put aside their own views and morals for my happiness. I don't know how to talk to my mother about this...please if anyone can help me, I would truly appreciate it. God bless Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (22 August 2009):
I am sure in time your parents will come round to the idea if they truly love you.
However it will not be easy to convince them if they are prejudiced.
Your parents have their own rigid views and think they know whats best for you.
you have to forgive them for their narrow mindedness and explain to them that you get good & bad in all types of people not just in one race or colour.
It wont be easy to win them over if at all.
The only thing that can help is by you being patient with your parents and giving them time to adjust to this situation.
Show them or tell them how happy this guy makes you and leave it to them to make the decision to meet him.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (22 August 2009):
I am sure in time your parents will come round to the idea if they truly love you.
However it will not be easy to convince them if they are prejudiced.
Your parents have their own rigid views and think they know whats best for you.
you have to forgive them for their narrow mindedness and explain to them that you get good & bad in all types of people not just in one race or colour.
It wont be easy to win them over if at all.
The only thing that can help is by you being patient with your parents and giving them time to adjust to this situation.
Show them or tell them how happy this guy makes you and leave it to them to make the decision to meet him.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (22 August 2009):
Its an arkward situation in that you want to stand by your new found happiness, a guy that shows you the love you need yet at the same time your parents, who dont see any of what he brings to your life. Sometimes although you accept what you dont always want to see you have to do whats best for you, not being selfish just more independant, your making your own descions at this stage in your life and there comes a time where your parents will need to accept that and so long as you show respect and maturity in how you go about doing this there should be no problem in you reaching a compromise.
They should be proud in that youve choosen a guy who shows you love and respect. Keep everything as normal, remain the person you are living how you have done and there will be no need for an argument.
Give all you have into showing them what it means to you, you love this guy and although everyone has an opinion try and show them what this means to you.
You seem very genuine and you show great respect toward your parents and how they feel, keep that up and in return you should get the same.
You shouldnt have to prove yourself, you cant help who you fall for and dont try to change what you have to suit them.
The adivce above wont exactally help you in any way, some things just take time, give it all you have you love him and in time theyll have to accept it for what it is.
Dont let go of your happiness but at the same time try and keep the peace with your parents, best of luck
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