A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm a 19 year old girl and recently started at a full time work place and I've met someone who I like but he's 14 years older than me! When I first met him I thought he was 25 as he looked that age. So when I started to develop feelings for him, I told my parents about him and they said they would accept 25 but it wasn't til a week ago I discovered he was 33!! But he respects that I'm still a virign and that's why he fell for me. Now I'm really worried my parents won't accept our relationship. And my brothers are getting on my nerves as he wants to beat him up! So I don't know what to do as I really like him and he likes me too. And we have a date tonight so how can I tell my parents I got his age wrong without me not being able to get with him! Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sweetlove +, writes (12 October 2010):
Like you said you are 19. Time to take matters into your own hands. If you feel its right then it might be, if your choice on being with him in general is a mistake you will learn from it, but please dont give up your virginity till your 120% possitive its with the right person.
A
male
reader, kewuoygy +, writes (10 October 2010):
Your parents aside, the question has to do with what you want in life and in relationships. You are barely starting out, whereas at 33, presumably he should know what he wants with his life and in relationships. The fact that he respects your virginity and is not pushing you into a physical relationship seems to indicate that he is not just toying with you.
I suppose that at his age, he probably thinks about getting settled and starting a family. But do you want to? Or are you ready? Do you want to travel the world or launch a career that has always been your dream? Do you want to hit the dance floor? He might love you enough to go with you a few times, but that's about all a man at that age--if he is serious about getting settled--can take.
You might want to ask him if he can wait for you for a few more years. If he genuinely loves you and you genuinely love him, I don't think a few more years (say, until you are 22 or 23) should matter much. And given time, you can prove to your family that your relationship with him is serious and he can show them the kind of character that he is made of.
Now, if he can't wait a few more years, then it raises a red flag. Or if in a few years your priority in life changes so much that you are convinced you cannot hold on that relationship, it doesn't do you any good to jump into it now. A strong relationship will stand the test of time.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): We acn say everything you need to here, but it all come down to what you want. I think if you accept him then they'll accept him later. Like the song says "you're not daddy's little girl anymore" go live your life.
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