A
male
age
41-50,
*ind80
writes:I was in a relationship for one year with a french woman player, 10 years older than me. She treated me like shit the whole year. Then she decided to move to a different city. And when she was ok again she broke up with me. Now after one month she is saying she loves me. I don't answer her anymore but I have no idea what to do with this woman. Feels like she is playing with my feelings as I have no idea of her intentions towards me and the past shows that she has no respect for me.The big problem is that I lover her, even if I don't reply to her calls or emails for one month.What should I do to get her respect?Should I just quit? How, if I love her so deeply?How can I make her realise what she has lost?How can I make her say "I'm Sorry" as she never does it?I've been dating other women and I found that she is defintely the exception as all women believe I'm a good catch (even my sister.lol). But I feel trapped as I cannot get involved because I think about her all the time. Is like I've fallen in love for a woman no man wants.I don't know what to do. And after one year of receiving pain without quiting, my friends are tired of me. I understand them.So, I hope anyone here can give me good advices.Thanks to everyone!
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female
reader, Denissia  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Hmmm,i just read the true issue here;this is interestingly complicated,she does not love you. You said it yourself,innocent child might be abandoned by mum,think about your future,you're not getting younger. I feel you like the excitement and the arguing,why else will you put up with it apart from her being drop dead gorgeous,but im just saying,my opinion deosnt count as many others,because you are standing firm that you love her. Time will tell but you may not like the results,my concern for you is to be happy,i do not mean to be replying on your matter so much,its just that i know what you are feeling,you have a soft heart,my guess is you are a Cancer like me,or a scorpio. We love unconditionally. You'll find your time to shine and that special partner,dont hole up and be bent on her too much
A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (7 October 2010):
Hi,
You need to walk away NOW...for your own sanity.
If you truely love someone, you dont put them through hell like this
No more contact with her would be best from now on..or you will continue to go round and round in a downward spiral till one of you does something silly,
Start walking and fins someone who is worthy of yr love
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A
male
reader, Kind80 +, writes (7 October 2010):
Kind80 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you very much to all that have been helping me.But there is something I must add. In the past I have followed some of the advices I read. The problem is she plays the same game for one entire year. Everytime I decided I didn't want to be with her anymore (even if I loved her deeply) she would try to apologyse and win me back. Sometimes she even promissed not to do the same things again. But then she ALWAYS breaks her promisses.Everytime she has me completely in a peaceful life with her, she will create hell to disturb me as much as she can and when she can see that I'm not in a good mood she breaks up (an average of once everyweek for one entire year). But when I'm not in her hand and she feels she can lose me she gets completely paranoid. At least two times she has even grab my arms in tears and shacking saying "Please stay with me, Please". But then, she never changes. I love her deeply and I'm suffering with all this but I don't know what to do to gain her respect and normal behaviour. When she breaks up with me I suffer a lot like it is the first time but she doesn't care. But then she comes after me and complains about me abandoning her.As I've read the internet I've seen that she fits the "playette" profile. Is like she cannot love but she likes to play with men. One of the reasons we fight a lot is exactly this. She likes to go out on her own with men all the time and she expects me to accept it. If I don't she breaks up.Everytime I saw her tears and the victim voice I melted as I really love her. But sometimes feels like I'm dating a werewolf woman, as she changes personality to often. When everything is ok there she goes hurting me again and provoking without any compassion.12 of October would be one year since we started the relationship. After one year she should be more normal if she really loves me. But I don't trust her anymore. And everytday I suffer deeply thinking about her all the time. It has passed one month since she broke up with me (again), but now we are in different cities. Last time I took a plane just to see her. I cannot do this all the time. Even if I do it. What for? she always behave the same way. I don't answer her emails anymore and I've changed my mobile nr (after she changed hers), but I miss her sooo much... I wish she could just behave like a normal woman but she doesn't. I know she would like to marry me and have kids with me but she behaves like the woman that nobody wants.She has told me that she had many boyfriends in the past and had some long term relationships. she said she broke up with all because she didn't loved them. Well, I believe is either they broke up with her or she cannot love anyone.Manytimes I wonder what is this that I have with her that hurts me soo much. I tried to quit the relationship manytimes but she knows is hard for me, so she plays more and more. In the end, she says she loves me but I don't know what to think.In the last emails she said she loves me and that she misses me like before. Since that email (that I didn't answer) she didn't said anything else. 7 days have passed.What should I expect? What should I do?Yes, I love her so much that I could have a marriage and kids with her. But I will not propose to a person that makes me feel like dirt. A person that may abandon me. A person that may trap me in her life with an innocent child. A person that may well make a kid suffer like she made me suffer. I cannot giver her what she wants, not like this. Maybe I'm too honest, or just an idiot... but I've told her that. And I'm sure this is the reason she broke up with me this time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): You have issues with this older woman, you love you but she does not respect you, if you love her too much, she will definitely not respect you. This happens for women and men, loving too much. You are killing her attraction to you. French women are like any other women, however they need a man who can take control. Are you sure you are in control of this relationship? I say for now just stay friends with her, and look into the dynamics of your relationship, including any insecurities you might feel regarding your parents, especially your mom. You might find the answer you are looking for. Being just friends with her, is the way to go for a while, but don't get in touch with her too much, keep your distance, and when you are in contact with her, be positive, tell her of the wonderful time you are having with friends, and thank her for the good times you had together even if its not true...let's see how she responds to that. Keep it up and you might get her back, this time don't be so nice, she disrespect you in any way, turn around and walk out, telling her you will be back when she grows up.
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A
male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (6 October 2010):
Hi,
Maybe you should give her one last chance. But make it clear that things are v different now.
If she starts to treat you like dirt...Tell her that you cant go on like that, walk away and dont look back...otherwise you will always be on her "hook"
As you walk...just say to her..." What goes around comes around"
Good Luck and be strong.
NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TREAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEGIN WITH DISRESPECT...ESP IF YOU LOVE THEM
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): I'm French :p and let me tell you that she is playing a very intricate game with your heart. You're a good catch and it's well-known that sometimes, to keep a man interested, you show them passing interest and pretty much treat them badly until they go crazy! We always want what seems unatainable and most of us love a challenge. She wants you hooked. Let me tell you how to play. Go see her, keep checking your phone. Put an alarm for it to ring 20mins into the date. Excuse yourself. Come back apologize and gauge her reaction. Stay for another 15mins and then leave. Kiss her on the cheek and tell her you had a nice time and to take care of herself. As you walk away, pull out your phone. Don't look back. She'll call! The 1st time, ignore. 2nd time, pick up and talk to her just 5mins b4 u tell her u gotta go. She'll surmise that some other woman has got your attention and if she truly wants you, she'll bite and try to keep you. Keep your feelings to yourself. Meet up with her but not often and not at her request.
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