A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have an issue. My mom and dad need me to get in contact with my ex. My ex and I dated last year, and it was a horrible, horrible relationship. He broke my heart, and made my life miserable. By far, the worst relationship I ever had. He left me on 2 different occasions for women he met on the internet, even letting one move in with him a week after he and I broke up, which killed me.So, the reason WHY my parents need me to get in touch with him is because that my dad is a mechanic, he owns his own shop and such. My ex's mom's car broke down last June and I said it was ok for her to have it towed to my dad's shop. The car is irreparable, the transmission and the engine are trashed. So the mom gave him permission to junk it, but when my dad asked for the title, they never gave it to him because they lost it... or something. The bigger issue is that my ex's dad is a really intimidating guy... he has a lot of money, and a lot of lawyers, he's a big banker from NYC. My dad's afraid that if he just junks the car, my ex's dad will sue because the title is under HIS name.My mom said that even if I had their address they could send him a letter, but when my ex and I lost contact (2 months ago) he was in the process of moving out, because they sold their house. I have no contact with any one of their family members. And even if they sent a letter to my ex's dad, he'd just ignore it. And my ex's parents divorced 2 years ago, so the mom is already out of the house and back with her parents, I don't know her maiden name.My parents agreed that all I have to do is text him to either get in touch with his dad, or to give me his address so I can have my dad send a letter. I can't give my dad my ex's number because my parents HATE my ex, and I deleted his number a long time ago, I can only communicate with him through an app that we both used.But I have a boyfriend now, and I know he's not going to like me communicating with my ex for any reason, especially for the way my ex treated me.What should I do? Should I just do it and then cut all ties again? Have my boyfriend around for moral support? I know it's not that big of a deal to just text him, but the reason why he and I lost contact was so that I could make it work with my new boyfriend, because my ex tried getting back with me. I'm just afraid that he'll think it's ok for him to keep texting me.
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (27 October 2014):
 First, contact the ministry of transportation in your area to find out exactly what the proper procedures are.
Second, if your parents do need to be in touch then it is THEY who should contact him. I understand they hate him, but you're the one who suffered most with him so YOUR feelings will doubtless be even stronger. They can keep copies of their emails to him as proof of honest intent.
Chances are, your ex's dad won't care about the car. It was beyond repair, it was his ex wife's car and they have no further business with one another.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2014): If the car is left for longer than six months with no word from the owner of the car (I.E. stating they want to collect it) it is classed as abandoned and your Dad can junk it.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (27 October 2014):
 OH - one more thing - this was in June??? It's November almost!! What an intimidating person this ex's dad must be if he lets a car sit for 5 months. Please. Your dad would have a counter-case of vehicular abandonment and storage cost. Tell him to look up the mechanic's lien laws in his state, because the statutes of abandonment vary, in which case he could make himself whole by having a statutory lien on the abandoned vehicle plus the cost of services done plus towing and storage on a per-diem rate plus interest.
Tell your dad not to go running screaming from the legal process. A good business owner navigates those waters like he was born to them!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 October 2014):
This is between your dad and your ex's dad. It is neither your business, nor should your dad use any perceived ties you once had with your ex to try to smooth over his mess. It's actually a pretty spineless thing for your dad to be expecting from you. Not only that, but if he's nervous about this becoming a legal issue, the last thing he should do as a father is get you mixed up in this and possibly getting you named as a respondent in the lawsuit, possibly wrecking your credit for the next 10 years.
With all of the people search technology, he can look up anyone, including your ex and your ex's dad all by himself. You deleted the number, for good reason.
I'm more concerned with the way your dad chooses to do business. If he owns a shop, why is he running things in such a slipshod manner? PLUS, isn't this between him and your ex's mother, who authorized the disposal of the car?
Didn't the ex's mother sign off on the work done or not done? Isn't that what you do at a mechanic's shop? The mechanic gives an estimate, and the customer decides a course of action, right? Didn't he keep a paper trail of the mom's order to dispose of it? Plus, if the car broke down, what's the worst that can happen? Your dad, who would be a bonehead for doing all of this stuff without a paper trail and signatures and records of contact, would have no need of a title! AND, if they sue, it's the cost of a broken-down car, in which case if this dad is super-intimidating and has all of these lawyers, why is his wife driving a clunker?
Your dad should have lawyers on retainer for this sort of thing. He should have wording in his estimates and work order indemnifying him of this sort of thing. It's the business owners who should be prepared and well versed in legal issues. Most likely, if it does go to court and your dad did a crap job in How To Conduct Business 101, it would most likely be settled, OR the guy would turn a claim into his insurance company (if it is even insured, and if they canceled their insurance, that's a vote in your dad's favor!) and claim salvage loss on it.
Show my post to your dad if you need more than your convincing, but you need to stay out of this for far more than even the crappy ex or out of respect for your new boyfriend. YOU need to stay out of this because this isn't your legal affair, and putting you into this situation as a go-between can make you civilly liable. Ever hear the term "Jointly and severally"? What this means is that in a lawsuit, your dad's business would be a liability, your dad's personal credit could be one (unless he made his shop an LLC or S-Corp like he should, because if he's running this as a sole proprietorship without bonding and licensing, he's REALLY up a creek without a paddle), and even if your dad has shielded himself under an LLC, since YOU are not an employee, you personally could be another entity simply because the deal passed through your hands.
Show him this and tell him to get his ducks in a row. Why does he NOT HAVE A LAWYER ON SPEED DIAL?! Doesn't he know that the two essentials in running a business is a good accountant and a dedicated lawyer who knows you by name??? And if he sucks at paperwork which it sounds like he might, he'd need a bookkeeper as well keeping the day-to-day accounts in order!
Either way, stay out of this, and stay far away.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 October 2014):
 Pretty much all that Arabella wrote.
No need to contact the EX. Your Dad needs to contact the mom/dad.
You don't know her maiden name, but if you do search ( you might have to pay $6-12 for a background report) on their married address (might even see it without the paying for anything on Whitepages.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2014): It's not right that your Dad is asking you to get involved in this.
It's his responsibility now and he should be protecting you at all costs.
The suggestions the others have made make absolute sense - all your Dad has to do is follow basic legal procedures and keep copies of all correspondence to prove he's tried to get in touch with the person(s) involved.
Seriously though, your Dad is amiss in asking you to get involved in this way.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 October 2014):
 Simple. Tell your father to send your ex's dad a Registered letter with Return Receipt. ( If the ex's dada is such a hot shot should not be so difficult to find his official address through Internet, or at leat his work address ) Then whether the ex's dad reads the letter or not is not your father's problem; your father would have anyway communicated properly and officially his request / grievances etc.
A text would not have legal and official value anyway because there is no way to verify who is the actual sender and if the message has been received by whom .
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 October 2014):
 This is not your problem.
It could become a problem for your Dad.
Suggest that your Dad talk this over with the Sherriff to clarify what is the correct thing to do.
No texting either.
Your Dad has the car.
Your Dad has to take responsibility for this.
Everything in letter format and posted to them so that the alleged registered owner has to sign for the letter.
If he has a stellar career as a Banker then google him and serve the letter on his at his work address.
So your Dad should write to the alleged registered owner and state that the car needs to be picked up at their expense or failing that the registered owner can provide documentation to show that he is the owner and signed authority to dispose of the car. Include photos to show how bad the condition is re the car.
Give the alleged registered owner 30 days to do something about it.
At the end of 30 days confirm in writing with a copy of the original letter what is going to happen.
Then if no one starts complaining to your Dad then the car can be sent off to Car disposal in another 15 days.
Your Dad can keep a copy of all the correspondence sent.
The Ex wife probably does not care what happens, it is no longer her problem.
Your Dad needs to protect his reputation as a calm well organised business professional
Don't bother to reconnect with your ex.
The car is not his problem and he might see you contacting him as a suggestion that you are still interested. Which you are not.
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