A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 and am have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 months. I have had sex before but I was my girlfriend's first. The relationship is really strong and we are both very giving people. She trusts me completely and says she is completely relaxed, but here's my problem.I can't seem to get her to reach orgasm, or if she is she doesn't really know she is. I had absolutely no problem getting my ex to orgasm. I know every woman is different but do some women simply not orgasm or have smaller more frequent orgasms so that they are hard to identify? Whenever I play with her clit she shakes like she is being electrocuted so I can't help but wonder. I really hope it's not because I can't satisfy her and that she simply isn't recognizing them... what do you think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2012):
 I was in my 40s before I met a man that could consistently make me orgasm.
and only orally then...
until then it never happened.
some women just have a very very very had time reaching climax. it does not mean the man is not a good lover or that she's not satisfied.
but Tisha makes a good point... can she bring herself to orgasm? Until she knows what the sensations are you guys are shooting in the dark.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 June 2012):
 Has she ever given herself an orgasm? Unless she knows what works for her, she won't be able to show you.
I'd suggest you try a small vibrator and see what kind of response she experiences with that. It may prove very educational.
Some women find it difficult to orgasm. She may be too relaxed, you know. Some muscle tension helps in reaching orgasm. If she lies there limply there's little chance she will ever reach it.
The shaking shows she's feeling something but unless there are rhythmic spasms similar to what you probably experience in your orgasm, she's not there yet. When she has one, she will know.
This isn't about you not being able to satisfy her, this doesn't mean you are a bad lover, not at all. This means she doesn't know her own body. It's common and fixable. You sound like a very considerate guy and I have no doubt with your help, she'll figure it out.
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