A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, can you help me?My parents are divorced, and since then ive gotten less close to my dad. Its been about 5 years. He totally changed and hes never happy, and often, like today he does spiteful things. Anyway im older now, and instead of thinking hes just a grouchy old man, Im wondering if he has depression. Because some of the things he says and does you just wouldnt do to your daughter. Hes the same with his girlfriend. She talks to me, and I know shes not happy, but she thinks theres a lovely kind man there deep down. My mum says the same. Also I think hes alcohol dependant, and he started smoking after my mum left. I know the divorce upset him but he really acted awful about it and he still does, always bad mouthing my mum infront of us, not paying matinence bills. I love him, but I dont particularly like spending time with him anymore. I dont think he likes me because I stand up to him, and he always puts things to one side. How can I get some help for him? I really dont know what to do he probaly will be offended if I ask him to go to the AA or something. Any advice? Thanks :) x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Its always hard to see someone you care about and love depressed. I think the key is for you to try and brighten his life and make him see the good in the world. He can constantly think negativiely and have nothing nice to say, but there is no point for anyone to waste their life worrying or complainging about things they cant change. We have to see the good and use that good to help get us through the hards times. He has gone through a lot, but he still has you. Show him you are still there for him and love him. Try to go out and have some fun with him, joke around, show him how much fun the two of you can have. Then while the two of you are together and having a good time, you can occasionally talk to him about how hard things have been and how you miss the way he was. But always reassure him things will get better and you still love him. If things dont work and you cant get through to him, then maybe an intervention like the previous answer posted said. You just need to find some way to get through to him and show him all the things he is missing out on.
A
female
reader, MeBeTonya  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 There is no easy way to approach someone who is chemically dependent upon something. One of the easiest approaches would be to gather up some family members and do an intervention. Im sure most have seen the show "Intervention" and it can offer some great tips on how to approach someone of this magnitude. If you dont have anyone that is willing to help you with this, then write him a letter. I know that may seem a bit trivial but it is a start at trying. Explain to him what he is doing and how it is affecting you. Take suttle approaches first. Maybe use the letter first and then if that doesnt work, then try to do the family intervention.
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