A
female
 ,
*nookerfan
writes:I'm 17 and this guy is 25, we haven't met but have talked about meeting. I'm a virgin, and we have talked about having sex alot and had cyber sex. He says that he has a 9" penis when erect, (I don't know whether he's telling the truth), and he says that he doesn't have sex with condoms because it is like having a rubber band around it, as he's penis is so big, so he says that if we are to have sex I will have to go on the pill, and I would be prepared to do that. But I'm really worried about catching something off him, cos if he never wears a condom, he could have anything. And I've heard stories about guys refusing to use condoms when they've got AIDS and purposefully passing it on to women, and I'm basically I'm really scared of catching something off him. What should I do? And Is there any contraception I could use to prevent STIs?
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aids , condom, the pill Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): I am a little over 8 inches and yes I have to use a different condom than just any condom because it is uncomfortable and they break often but there are comdoms that fit guys with my size perfectly so dont let him use that excuse.
A
female
reader, snookerfan +, writes (30 November 2005):
paedophile?? i'm 17!! so that wouldn't really work! anyway, thanks for everyone's help, the whole thing is over now so it's no longer a problem:)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2005): Best thing you could do would be go down to PC Plod's and tell him what's been going on. If the cops have any sense, they'll help you lure this sicko into a trap and they can lock him away for good. (Too bad hanging's been abolished--here's a great reason to bring it back!) If the cops aren't interested, then call the Daily Mail or some other tabloid and they'll probably do it, AND run an article on how the cops have totally messed up another paedophile case.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): no penis is too big for a condom.my brother took a sex ed class, and one day he came home and shared this with me, cause it was hilarious.the teacher brought condoms into class, and discussed how they are properly used. then he talked about excuses guys make to not wear them. then he demonstrated that no condom is too small by sticking both hands in an average sized condom, opening his hands, and spreading them apart. try it. then tell you're dude if he can't fit in that, then he can't fit in you.and for safety's sake, don't have sex with someone the first time you meet them offline.
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female
reader, Ftuley +, writes (3 November 2005):
 Did you see this on the news?
A 15-year-old girl has been raped by a man she met through an internet chat service. The teenager was attacked in Wigan, Greater Manchester, after meeting up with the man who police say had "groomed" her over several weeks.
She had met the man, who said he was called Simon, through an internet site run by the mobile phone firm T-mobile where they exchanged mobile phone numbers.
They exchanged text messages and spoke on the phone before arranging to meet at Wigan train station at 1230 BST on Monday.
From there, they walked through the town centre to Mesnes Park where he led her to the back of the basketball courts and raped her in broad daylight.
The man then followed the girl as she walked back to the bus station, where they had an argument involving a bystander. He tried to hug her, but she pushed him away, and he made his escape. Detective Constable Vic Gaffney, of Greater Manchester Police, said: "I would like to issue a warning regarding the dangers of meeting up with people that they have met via the internet or via mobile text messaging. "You cannot be sure who people really are and I would strongly advise against meeting people on your own." Slight stutter The attacker is white, aged about 24, six feet tall, slim, with shoulder-length blonde hair, a dyed red goatee beard and a moustache. He said he had travelled from Liverpool's Lime Street station and may have spoken with a slight Liverpool accent and a slight stutter. He wore dark blue jeans and a black jacket with long sleeves with the words Live Wild Die Free written on the back.
Mr Gaffney added: "We are appealing to anyone who may have seen this man and girl either in Wigan town centre or in the park to please contact us. "We need to know what happened to the man after he left the bus station. "Did anyone see him? Did he return to the train station to go back to Liverpool or did he go elsewhere?" John Carr, from the charity NCH Action For Children, said chatroom providers should impose tougher checks on the identity of people who use them. He said: "These guys only do these things because they think the chances of them being caught are nil or close to nil. "What [children are] doing is they're bringing the whole world into their homes and they don't know who they're actually dealing with when they speak to them on the internet. "It's a constant business for parents of reminding their kids: 'Don't let your guard down, remember you never really know who these people are and if you are going to meet somebody in real life, make sure you take a friend with you.'"
Please just listen to everyone here,You shouldn`t even go and meet someone of the internet,can you imagine what this person could do to you?Do you even know who he is?
What will you do if he rapes you?
Or kills you?
Think about it!
Take care!
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A
female
reader, experienced +, writes (28 October 2005):
Please please please please please listen to all the advice that everyone except "pops" has given you. My partner is a big boy and we have used condoms that did not cause him any problems.If this guy doesnt respect you then he doesnt deserve you.Keep yourself for a better man and dont take any risks. Forget him now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2005): give me a break. dont do it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Well there are things called Femidoms that women put inside them, its like a giant condom so it won't hurt him.
You are 17 and still a virgin though, do you want to lose your virginity to a complete stranger? This guy knows your a virgin right? and he is 25 years old, to be honest love he sounds a bit pervy and I think you should wait a little bit longer for someone you actually trust!
Once you are behind closed doors anything could happpen!
Don't do it!
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A
female
reader, not again +, writes (24 October 2005):
ok, i'm guesing pops is a male.. maybe i'm mistaken, but anyway his advice is from a very male perspective. Hymen shcmymen! Yes, technically virginity has something to do with the hymen, but does tht mean if you're 10 years old and you fall off your bike in a bad accident and your hymen is broken that you are no longer a virgin??? I don't think so!! I was told at school that often if you are a physically active chick that your hymen may be broken by the time it comes to having sex, well you couldnt get much more active than me and mine was still very much intact! By all means, go see a doctor if you want about your hymen, but for gods sake dont remove it. Sometimes sex can be a bit painful the first time but don't tamper with nature!!
Anyway, I just wanted to kinda balance out what pops was saying, i know that your question is more about the condomn thing. So like you're hearing from everyones advice.. the guy sounds like an arrogant twat who just wants to sleep with a virging. At the end of the day (and this sounds harsh!) you could be anyone and he would still sleep with you, that is what the internet is all about. And do you really want to loose your virginity to a guy who i making demans of you- demands that put you at risk- as opposed to spoiling you and making your first time really special? A lot of people wouldnt sleep with a guy like this EVER, so please dont share your virginity with him!! xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2005): tell him to buy extra large or forget it. He is above average size but not unique. Manufactours make them in all sizes. Dont let him pressure you
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A
reader, pops +, writes (24 October 2005):
Virginity and first time sex should be two different considerations. Virginity usually means that your hymen is still intact. Is it? many women find that their hymens were broken sometime in their childhood. If you are using a tampon, chances are the hymen is broken, at least partially. But ask your doctor what the state of your vagina is, when you have your next visit. He can look and tell you. He can even remove it for you, or what's left of it. Now, the first time you have sex you want to take it slow, and easy, and your lover should not be planning on pushing his entire length into you. You need to train your PC muscles and your vagina to take large things in it. Take it slow, and easy, and only as far as you feel comfortable. The guy with the 9" cock doesn't sound like he cares one wit about your comfort. Find another guy. BTW, they make large condoms for guys like this, so tell him no condom, no sex. Your concern about STD's is fair. Considering the age difference, I would expect he has been sleeping with more than one woman in his past. Talk to your doctor about birth control, and what is best for you. My first wife was on the pill; my second used a diaphragm. I used condoms with both of them at various times, when they were not sure if everything was going right. They also make very thin condoms these days that allow for great sensations. Spend some time at the pharmacy looking at condoms, and ask the pharmacist any question you have. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask questions. How else can you learn?
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female
reader, lillaum +, writes (24 October 2005):
 Hi there
If he is not willing to put a condom on for you then why bother putting yourself at a huge risk for him??? He may well be lying about the size of his penis. He may be lying about alot of things. You are a virgin and surly you would prefer to be 100% sure about your first lover. Don't feel pressured by this man! There is pleanty of information on the internet about all the available contraceptions. These sites will be able to tell you more than i would. Please take care of yourself, don't put yourself in any danger for this man!!!! He is likely to have caught something from someone since he doesn't ever use condom's. STI's can kill!
Take care and Good Luck
Lillaum
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (24 October 2005):
 Well, it's not always a good idea to go and meet people off the internet that you meet in the first place. It's a very NOT smart idea. Haven't you heard horror stories of people going and meeting people and something bad happens. I'm not saying this happens all the time, but definitely take your precautions. PLEASE!!!
As for the sex part and not wearing a condom, there are condoms out there for magnum sized guys and I'm sure that he'd fit into them. I doubt he's TOO big to fit in one. Don't let him fool you like that. It's not fair to you and then you seem too gullible AND you're a virgin! Don't you want your first time to be special and with someone you actually care about? Do you even know if this guy cares about you? He may just be talking to you so he can get some sex, which isn't right.
Don't let this guy just use you for sex, you may regret it if that's what's going on. You can never have your first time again and being a virgin is something you should try to hold on to until the right time with the right guy.
Again, do NOT let this guy NOT use a condom, there is something out there for him to fit on that. So make sure that if you guys are going to have sex, to have him wear a condom, it's a must. You don't know where this guy has been and what he has. It sounds like you don't know too much about him besides his 9" penis, which isn't the most important thing about anyone. Please make the right decision and don't let him get away without wearing anything. If he can't use a condom, he can't use you. That sound about fair.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2005): No contraception will protect you from any STIs. You are 17 and still a virgin. He's 25. Do you see the problem with this? He's only interested in having sex with you. If you are looking for more than a relationship, then it's not going to work. Why can't you keep your virginity so the sex you do have in the future is meaningful with someone you love. How can you allow someone to tell you what to do? Make your own decision on whether or not you want to get on the pill. Learn about the side effects (weight gain, nausea, appetite loss, etc.) and really do your research on it. He's alot older than you, so there is a greater chance of getting some form of disease from him if he's had multiple partners. Sure you can question his sexual history, but you will never know. Don't buy it about his penis size being too big. They have condoms that accomodate to various sizes.
So what's the choice.
1)Use a condom, not get pregnant, but keep in mind you can still catch something even if you use a condom. Don't think the condom will protect you from an STI. It's only purpose is to help prevent pregnancy.
2)Take the pill, gain some weight, get moody, get an STI or two or three.
3)Don't take the relationship any further
3 choices. Hopefully you make a smart one. (the last one)
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female
reader, not again +, writes (24 October 2005):
ew yuck this guy sound like a loser. Get AWAYYY from him. He's obviously been sleeping with heaps of chicks without condomns (otherwise he wouldnt keep trying to get away with it) and so you probably will catch something really grotty. And I've had a boyriend with a very large penis before, and I found condomns to fit. (yes, unfortuently it was me who had to do the finding!!) but I got some from family planning, i'm sure a quick google will help you find some.
And one last thing, please do NOT lose your virginity to someone you meet over the internet!! Helping people with problems on the internet is one thing, but meeting like that? Get outside your door into the fresh air and meet a REAL person!! I wish you a lot of luck, keep safe. :)
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