A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Guy’s I hope you can help.I met a guy online. We have been talking for two months now. He asked me if we could become exclusive since we got along so well. I said yes. We haven’t met yet because he lives long distance.I have asked him to wait meeting up because I have been having problems with him.For some reason he will lose his temper quickly, swear at me, call me thick and bassically becomecontrolling. I’m just getting over a breakdown myself, he knows this. But still continues to lose his temper with me.He has asked me to move closer too him, and even started looking for places for me live with the proviso that I choose somewhere he is comfortable living. I would be responsible for paying the rent.He blows hot and cold, I feel like I’m dating Dr. Jekyl and Hyde. He told me out of the blue that he fights demons! He said he hears the spirits talking to him. He believes he has special powers. I told him I'm worried about him.I recently made a mistake by telling him, how much I care for him, as he was ignoring my texts. I reached out to him after finding out my Dad was diagnosed with cancer.Since telling him, he has not returned my calls, emailed me and is now saying that I’m too emotional towards him.Did I really make a mess of this by telling him how much i cared about him? i sent 5 texts after the other due to him giving me the silent treatment.Which way do I go now?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): I have been where you are. Never had to deal with any guys bad temper but getting ignored is just plain rude. You had
stuff to deal with and he should have not been acting this
way towards you. When someone has anger issues like this
they need help. A relationship with him would make you feel like you're walking on egg shells. For me online dating has been a challenge and I am taking some time for myself. The one thing I have learned is to LISTEN to these guys and not excuse their behavior. It only gets worse. I had to deal with a few sexual predators and I didn't care how handsome they were I blocked them and let them go. I prefer to keep a few as pen pals. They don't know where I live. Your safety is important and so is your well being. Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): He sounds like NPD.read up. Run run
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (12 July 2013):
 Never mind him, I think you really need to seek professional help. I see a lot of posts like this from women who are in a physical relationship with an abusive man and they can't leave because they love him or are scared. You've never even met this guy and he's acted nothing but crazy and you are trying to keep him. That says more about you than it does about him. Please try therapy.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (12 July 2013):
 He's crazy.
Moving on...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): If this is what's going on between the two of you in your fantasy pretend dating relationship, just imagine what it would be like in real life. You are too old for this. Try meeting someone in real life and carry on a real relationship with someone you can be face to face with. You are being extremely careless putting this much into someone you have never actually met. This person could be anyone claiming to be anything but what they really are. Lose this person and learn from it. You are not exclusive, you are not dating and it's likely you will ever meet in person. Which you shouldn't be doing anyway based on what he's giving you online. Yikes!
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A
male
reader, mkateko  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 you are so lucky, this could even be worse if you guys have already met, this is the right time for you to forget about him, as he is giving you a silent threatment. Two months is very little and on line, I think this is the time in which he was supposed to be threating you like a queen, he was supposed to be making you feel like you has a reason to meet him, and possible feel like meeting him very soon. I am afraid lady here you met a wrong guy, try something else please, run away from this guy don't even look back. If really this is a true story you don't need it. Block this mentally challeged guy in all ways of contact. I hope you hadn't give him you physical address, but I do hope even if you gave him there is less he can do as he even lives a distance from you.Good luck
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Ahh this is a bad situation definitely. He sounds bi polar or at the very least very insecure. Hes doing u a favor by going silent. Get away from him.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (11 July 2013):
 How degraded and insecure does a woman have to be to accept someone she doesn't know telling her to be 'exclusive' being abusive to her, telling HER to move closer and pay for the 'privilege'. How much lower can she sink than to become involved with a man whos controlling and clearly has some serious delusional mental health issues, who treats her like dirt?
Honestly I wonder if this post is for real...and if it is...it's majorly screwed up and sad.
The guy is a nut job...STAY AWAY!!
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Hi, you don't need this sort of person in your life. Get out now and block and ignore him. Remember you are facing your father's illness and this can bring you to want the company and love from another man because you fear losing a man.(your father) Don't give this guy any more of your time. best wishes, Tom.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): Please listen to the other responses, there is something seriously wrong with this man. It is not normal to fight demons.
You need to value yourself more, you don't know this man. Two months is nothing. You haven't even met. He is already swearing at you & losing his temper. Why would you want someone like this?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): You should put your safety ahead of feelings you have for a man you've never met. He fights demons and speaks to spirits?
He wants to control you.
I don't know if you are rational enough to care for yourself; if can over-look something so potentially dangerous.
I suggest that you block this man from any further contact; and I hope you've never given him your address. You are dealing with someone who is severely mentally unbalanced and might do you harm. You are lonely and vulnerable; which makes you all the more likely to reveal too much information to this crazy guy.
You should not be reaching out to total strangers online; and it is so sad that no one is keeping an eye on you.
What you are doing is tantamount to foolish.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (11 July 2013):
 This man sounds very scary. This is where you RUN don't walk! I wouldn't keep in contact with someone like this because he just doesn't sound like he's all there. If he's being controlling online what on earth would he be like in person? Take all the aunts advice sweetie and be lucky you DIDN'T meet!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): i have been going through the same situation. All you need to do is to distract yourself. i know its hard when u have really good feelings for someone but he probably is not meant to be yours i suppose. Cuz if he really wanted you he would have feeling the same way as you are. Do not waste your time. I know its hard, but u gotta be strong and leave this guy. There is a 90 percent chance that u dont have future with this guy. Because not only does he mistreats you, ignores you but also he talks weired about the spirits and all
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Yikes, you can't possibly be serious about this nut job?!!! He hears voices and thinks he has special powers??? Leave him to his talking demons and be glad he is a long distance away.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 July 2013):
 How can you even consider uprooting yourself for this guys sake? You have only "known" him for 2 months and he treats you like crap when "you" upset him? This is not a healthy relationship, which might not be so odd as he isn't mentally stable either.
Block him and move on.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Be grateful that he's ignoring you. Now is the perfect time to end the relationship. If he's angry and controlling on-line, just imagine how much worse it could be living together. Plus he's told you he has mental health issues. And he expects you to pay for your shared accommodation??
You have been given the chance to dodge a bullet. Take the chance and run.
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