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My old friends found out I got engaged and I am afraid to say ''yes'' I am to them

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2015)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 20 soon to be 21. I had a hard time in school for 2 years because I got tangled into the wrong group of friends. I left school at the later than average age of 19 and a half because I done an extra year. The friends i had at the time were ranging from 16 to 18. They were judgemental made me feel like crap and to this day I think they were what triggered my depression. In the mean time I met my fiance when i was 18 who i adore and love to death. We are together nearly 3 years now and He is 15 years older than me. Yes there is a good age gap but it does not get in the way, i cant be without him and visa versa and i have always prefered older men. He treats me right we love eachother and he makes me so happy. Since I left school I havent spoken to these girls. None of them rang me up or texted me to see if I was ok and i didnt mind because i said to myself the second i finished school i never want to see them again. I hadnt the confidence to walk away from the group when i was in school because i was afraid if i did they would bully me. Now a year on one of them mailed me on facebook asking me who am i engaged to and telling me congrats. I m engaged about 10 months now and I am not ashamed of my wonderful man but i know if i tell them yes im engaged that i will be on the topic of discussion on a saturday night for them. I am a very self conscious person. I am always afraid of what others think of me i think its because i have low self esteem. There is days i want to scream to the world that i am engaged to the most amazing loving person in the world but these people from high school hold me back because they will make fun of me. I want to stop hiding and feel I can be with however i want but i know these girls with the mind of children will get involved. I have no problem admitting to the girl i am engaged but i wonder why she wants to know who? Before anyone starts I am very well ready to get married its been something i wanted since forever and i can not wait to get married to him . Im not a party girl never was and i enjoy life other ways but i dont know why i feel so self conscious of people knowing i got engaged . Please help me. What do i do? Should i remove my facebook? or mail her back. I just want these feelings gone and im wondering would i be better off deleting those girls off facebook and living my life how i want.

View related questions: confidence, engaged, facebook, fiance, older men, self esteem, text

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A female reader, Anonny United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2015):

Yes - you have moved on from them for a reason - so don't go back - they are probably just looking for gossip!

Over the years I have known 1 or 2 people who are just nosey or pure nasty and I have learnt to distance myself from them. Luckily with Facebook now you can just block them out of your life altogether.

Unlike you though - it took me a long time to realise some people out there really don't care about us at all. If only I had been wiser sooner - it would've been a great thing.

One thing I would suggest - is try to get a thick skin. Try not to worry what people think about you. Who cares? Are they so great themselves?!

So don't bother replying - or if you do - just keep it short and say 'yes I am engaged' and nothing more.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (15 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'd just cut these girls out of my life, if I were you. They treated you like crap, so WHY the NEED to keep them in your life?

TRIM the fat! Cut away the dead-weight!

Block, unfriend, delete the people who are NOT a positive influence in your life and whom you RATHER not spend the time of day on. YOU owe them NOTHING, honey!

Enjoy your life as it is now. Don't let those girls drag you back in their little gutter.

Onward and upward!

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