A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, please can u help me?I met a man last year and i finished my 3 year relationship with my ex for him. Anyway my new man treats me better than i could ever wish for and he is everything i will ever need in a man and i love him so much. However i miss my ex so much and i think about him constantly, i dream about him all the time and i really wanna meet him again, i will be faithful but i dont wanna lie to my new boyfriend about meeting him, i know he will be very angry if i tell him. However i just cant get my ex out of my head, i know my ex still loves me as he txts me all the time, i only reply now and then but i try not to let him know how i feel as i dont wanna lead him on. Do you think i should meet him? Also i have just moved to a beautiful house with my new boyfriend so i have everything i need and could wish for but i cant stop thinking of my ex.Thankyou for readingxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your advice, im glad i have found this website because i dont have any mutual friends that wouldnt give biased advice. i will cut all contact with my ex because i do love my new bf so much and i want a future with him. ur right i dont want to chance meeting up with him and cheating, and the point made that i didnt give myself time to grieve the failed relationship and its my own fault. im so glad you have all given me this advice i can concentrate on my new job now and get on with things.
Thank you again so much
ill let you know how it goes
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (12 December 2007):
 This is a difficult one. I think possibly one of the reasons you have trouble dealing with your emotions when it comes to your EX could be due to the fact you left him for another man.
You didn't have time to mourn the relationship which failed for whatever reason before getting involved with someone else.
I'm not entirely sure hwat to say since I don't jump from one relationship after another. I give myself some time to heal beforehand.
Your head and heart need time to process loss. I don't think meeting with your EX is such a good idea if you are happy with your current relationship.
I wouldn't feel too comfortable if my gf wanted to meet up with her EX no matter how much I trust her. It could open up old wounds.
However, I'm probably going to add to your confusion now... Sometimes you don't know what you had until it's gone. Perhaps you're having second thoughts since the new guy is not what you thought it would be.
Maybe you and your EX were meant to be and this is a moment of clarity. Maybe not.
How long is it since you split with your EX? If it's failry recent or even if it was a year ago it might be you still haven't fully healed and now these feelings are coming to light.
You say you don't ALWAYS reply to his messages. I think your EX is hopeful you can rebuild the relationship you lost and meeting him will only give him more hope.
Maybe this is what you want too? If so go for it, if not and you LOVE your current bf and want to build a life together if I were you I'd STAY AWAY, CUT ALL CONTACT, and CHANGE YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER/S.
Good luck and let us know how you get on :)
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 I agree. Don't meet up with him. Find other things to occupy your time.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (12 December 2007):
 It's human nature to want what you can't have and also girls seem to love a challenge in a "bad guy".
Sometimes people just can't be happy with what they've got. It sounds like your boyfriend is too good to you, it's soo easy for you. Hence the saying Nice Guys Finish Last.
I wouldn't meet up with your ex. You just sound a little bored - as I said your current BF isn't presenting you with any challenges. If you meet up with your ex, chances are you WILL cheat. Then you'll have a whole lot of other problems. If you can't get him out of your head, well that's because he's there in every day life. Constant contact isn't letting you move on from the relationship. You didn't have any time to get over the relationship by leaving him for another man. You need to stop all contact with your ex otherwise your problem with never go away.
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A
male
reader, Onaiyekan  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 First of all,what led to the breakup b/w u and your ex-boyfriend? Secondly,why did u leave your ex for your present boyfriend when u know u still had feelings for your ex? U should think with your head and don't follow your heart.You've got a good thing going with your present boyfriend, stick with that and focus on the present.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, yeah u are right, I think I will do that xxx
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (12 December 2007):
 I dont think its such a good idea to meet up with your ex because it will only cause more confusion into your relationship than there already is. If you meet up with him,as much as you say you'll be faithful, we let our emotions take over and we do the exact opposite of what we said we wouldnt do. You say you have evrything you've ever wanted and your life is going pretty well and the only thing that is missing to fulfill your happiness is if you were over your ex. You wont get over him if you keep in contact with him and play with your own emotions. Focus on yourself and the life you chose to start with your new boyfriend. Let go of your past before it takes over your present. Good luck!
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