A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, there. I got a trouble, I dont know how to explain but I will write all the details down and I do wish I could get some advice and help because at the moment I do really really need it.Me and my husband just got married 4 weeks ago and we are live in my city, our family is a mix family. He is Irish and Im from Hong Kong.Just a few days ago, theres a Email from an unknow sender in his junk, but he did open it and read it, then he replyed it and asked the sender how did she get his Email address, then the sender replyed him also sent him a few pictures of her, and told him her family situations, and he did the same, I mean he did send her his pictures and told her what does he do and which city does he live in and how many ppl are there in his family, I mean his mum dad sisters and brother part, anyway, its all mad. He already sent her around 4 Email during 5 days, and she does reply him on time.I told him it could be spam because the sender she can use some big words but always have some silly simple mistakes, she has no clue about using him/her/it/ him ...But no matter whatever I say, he just does it in his way, thats keep Emailing her, tell her his informations, at the moment she does know his name, nationality, family details even his mum+dad's age, and his job and where does he live.Also he did send her a few his pictures ( him only).I dont know whats going on, and it does bother me a lot.Because i told him stop doing it but he just didnt listen to me, yesterday we had a big flight, and he told me he gonna save money for backing home, so I just thinking theres not much love between him and me.And he does spend a lot of time on seaching her Email adress.( I can understand this part, because maybe he just want to know who the hell she is, because in the last a few Emails she even knows whats his favourite film and actors)He told me the sender could be one of his friends or someone he knows. But I just dont get it, I mean, how can you send the stranger ( or the person you are not sure you do know) your pictures and informations, and the point it you just get this Email just about 5 days and he did Email her every day.I can understand he wants to know who the sender is, but I just dont get it why does he send her his pictures and told her his informations!!!I dont know!!!He is going to cheat me or what? or he just too silly? I just feel my marriage is poo at the moment.Even today he told he will try to stop Emailing her asap, but I dont know, I just dont trust him and dont feel good at all.I guess my this question is kind of too long, but I do really wish I could get some advice and help.Thanks for the reading.Hope everyone will have a nice day.A poor girl.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your answers, they are right.he did tell me he is going to reply this person, I did try to stop him but it didnt work and he replyed the other when Im not home but he did tell me after he Email the person, so thats the point I dont get.In his Email hes kind of flirt with her, but he told me he didnt realise it, and thats the way he talks. :SMaybe him and me both of us are too young for this kins of serious relationship - marriage. Im not gonna say thats all his fault, maybe sometimes Im not a good wife, but I will try to be better and try to make it work, but if it wont work, then I have to just let it go.He doesnt have much friends here, maybe he wanted to talk to her just want a person to talk to, but anyhow, I dont think its right about Emailing a stranger.I asked him to read the answers that you guys gave me and he was very angry. :S I have to say, maybe he and me we are not mad for each other, maybe the marriage just a mistake only. But I did love him and I do think he loved me.And I feel .. the way he tread me is like Im his friend, not wife or life mate. I dont know, maybe its culture difference.He keep saying one thing, me make him to be a person that he is not, he is way better than what Im thinking he is.I dont know, maybe theres something wrong in my marriage and it could never be right.@So_Very_Confused He did tell the sender he is married, and the point is she asked 1st, because she was looking for a serious relationship, a mrried men is not a good choice.We knew each other about 13 months and we got though a lot, I mean a lot. I love him and at least he did love me.He told me he is looking for friends only, but anyway, its weird.Thanks for your answer! And thanks for spending time on my question.@ k_c100Hello, I do like your answer and I did think about all the words that you said.I just wish we will work it out and move on, or I have to let it go, both of us need freedom, and me need repect!!!Playboy is not my type, and Im still young, hope both us can be better and learn more from this.Thanks for reading my question and thanks for the answer!!!@sugarplum786Thank you for spending time on reading my question, and thanks for the answer.Wish he and me will figure it out and move on, or we d better give each other more choice.K
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 November 2012):
 He's already cheating on you dear. It's called emotional cheating. I don't doubt for one second that he knows this woman or who she is... and if he does not he's foolish to give out information.
and he lies about being married doesn't he?
You have been married 4 weeks... I'm thinking you need to get an annulment and move on with your life from this man.. he's Irish is he from Ireland and needed access to the USA?
how long have you known each other... how long did you know each other before you got married"?
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 This is all wrong in so many ways. First of all you are too young to be married and this clearly shows - neither you or your husband are mature enough to be able to communicate clearly.
I'm not sure what your husband is doing, if this person is genuinely a stranger then he is at risk of identity fraud, he is giving too much information and whoever it is has all his info, so they could steal their identity and use it for fraudulent purposes.
However if this 'stranger' knows about his favourite films then clearly it is someone that he knows, either he's not admitting who this woman is or she wont come clean about her identity.
Either way, if you are married you dont message random women pictures. End of story. He is already cheating on you, this is emotional cheating because he is emotionally connecting with another woman, breaking the marriage vows you made to each other.
He needs to stop this, now. Get him to delete her emails and her email address in front of you, so you can see it, and make sure he deletes it off his phone and computer so there is no way of contacting her anymore.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 Hi, I dont think after four weeks of marriage this kind of behaviour is acceptable. You deserve a lot better. What difference who it is, after all he is married to you. You need to give him an ultimatime and if he does not respect you and stop this contact you should leave. What you should be worried about is that he sends email, sent pics as this person asked for it and should she request a meeting, would you then keep quiet and let him go on a blind date? - that is the next step!
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