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female
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anonymous
writes: dear cupidI am a 20 year old girl and I have some relationship problems. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and started dating a new guy. The new guy is totally different from my ex, all the things that I wanted from my ex but I miss my ex so much and want to get back with him. What should I do?
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female
reader, chipmunk37  +, writes (27 July 2015):
 I think if you miss your ex so much and want him so much why is he your ex? There is obviously a reason you broke up and it was serious enough that you ended a three year relationship and choose a guy completely the opposite of your ex. I think this new guy is a shock response. Almost a reflex action. You need time to properly process the break up, mourn it even and recover before you start another relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2005): This is weird because I was seeing a girl for for several months litrally after her 3 year relationship ended. She is also 20, but recently I got a text from her saying she only wants to be friends cause of her having feelings for her ex aswell. She has said that she has feelings for me and likes me as much as her ex. I am confused and I doubt thats she's gunna get bak with her ex. I think though that you need to have a really hard think about what you really want and who makes you happier and if it is this new guy then try and keep your mind busy with him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2005): You've just gotten out of a 3yr relationship and already trying to find the rebound bf? Bad idea. You need to spend time for yourself alone and get over your ex before moving on. It would be unfair for the new guy. Since your first relationship started when you were at a young age, that emotional bond is still there with your ex. Did he break up with you or was it the other way around?
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A
reader, schlottjl  +, writes (7 October 2005):
 Women tend to bond long term thru sex. I believe it is because of our capacity to get pregnant. It is also why we harm ourselves each and every time we give ourselves away to the undeserving.
If only we knew that we hold the key.....
Also, no matter what, we idealize all the others when in relationships. Trust me, it was not as good as you remember, we imbelish the fantasy version. It is and was not real, it is our unresolved wishes from an earlier time. And it is the thing that can destroy future happiness in that so long as we believe the illusion, no one will ever match up (not even if you went back to the ex). It is a mind trick.
We always want the car we did not buy when ever the car we did gets old or boring. Doesn't mean the other car would have stayed fresh forever, in fact, there is a reason you are not together now... remember that instead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2005): Well, if you still love your ex, you should get back with him. It may hurt the other guy's feelings, but he should understand that your heart belongs to your ex. Personally, if the new guy in my life treated me better than my ex, I would stay with the new one in my life. Yeah, sure,I would still have feelings for my ex, but after I really get close to the new guy, I would let go of the old realationship. It would open my eyes to realize that there are better men out in this world, they're just hard to come by, so when you find them, don't let go!
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