A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mum's bf who she been with for years tried to kiss me and feel me up. He said it was q mistake and never meant it and said to forget about it. I dont know what to if I tell her it will break her heart and I dont want her to hate me but I dont know if I can forget about it or not Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kim964 +, writes (23 October 2012):
i told my mum an shes still with him!
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 March 2012):
 Stop being silly, your mum would never hate you. Be prepared for this creep to deny everything but be firm and stand your ground. Do not let this matter die down, it is not safe for you to be in the house with this man around. Your mum needs to know what a disgusting man she has been dating and he needs to be kicked out of your lives NOW. Do you have any relatives who you can confide in? Tell this to a responsible adult who will understand and can talk to your mom too. Dont let the man manipulate you into anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): I'm sorry that you have gone through this, it's an awful and awkward situation to be in. I think you should tell your Mum, she needs to know what this man is truly like. He has tried it once, got shot down and used the "it was a mistake" line. The fact is he knew what he was doing and he did it knowing it was wrong. Tell your Mum, she needs to know what he is really like, and she then can make up her own mind about what to do with that information. He has tried it once, and if he thinks he can away with it without you telling your Mum, he may just try it again with you, and next time he may not stop, or he may try it with someone else. It's great that you don't want to hurt your Mum, but take it from someone who knows, if you don't tell her and something worse happens with this man, she will be hort a lot more and will feel as though she is somehow to blame, because she didn't know about this instance or that she wasn't approachable enough for you to tell her. I once tried to spare my parents from finding something out, and when it did get worse and came out, they were devastated that I hadn't told them about it in the first place so they could stop worse from happening. It broke my heart to see how hurt they were and to know that by protecting them from that hurt I made it worse for them. Tell your Mum and protect both you and her from this person. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): I'm sorry you had to go through that... what a creep!
I know it's hard but I do think you need to tell your mum. His actions were totally out of line. If he tries this on another girl or woman who is not so forceful in telling him to stop, do you really think he will back off of his own accord saying it's a "mistake"?
Had you not said no to this guy, or had he thought you were into it, he would probably have tried to have sex with you. Your mom deserves better than a guy like that, but she won't know unless you tell her what happened. You would want to know if your partner was trying to cheat on you, right? I know I would. The fact that it's with his girlfriend's daughter makes his actions that much more inexcusable.
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A
male
reader, landomando  +, writes (7 March 2012):
Very tough situation. im not sure if this is the right thing to do but, i can understand not wanting to hurt your mom.. In my opinion, U said he tried to touch you and tried to kiss you.. If he did I would tell your mom. If he didnt touch you, if he hasnt ever tried that before. I might let it go... Just because and only because im not sure if i could hurt my mom like that.. and i think especially if everything is good with them I dont know if I could bring it up..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 March 2012):
 I would tell her. That was NOT "just" a mistake. What was a mistake (for him) was that he actually thought doing that would EVER be OK.
I'm so sorry.
If he can't respect you, do you think he will respect your mom?
He sounds like creepy douche bag.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): You need to tell your Mother. She needs to know, and this guy needs to be gone. I have been with my now Fiance for just over two years now...I love him very much...however, if either of my daughters (ages 20 and 17) came to me with this information, he would be gone, that day. First and foremost is the protection of my children, no matter how difficult it would be to hear. There are no excuses, nothing that can make what he did alright. He's a pervert and a cheater, and if he's done this to you/and your mother, he's likely done it before or will do it again. PLEASE tell your mother!And I'm sorry, but the person telling you not to tell her if she is not going to believe you....yikes! Wrong, wrong wrong! Sure she is going to be hurt, and maybe the relationship you have with her is one that she won't believe you, but in the long run, it WILL accomplish something, even if it takes time...have respect for yourself and for your mother and her well being...even if she doesn't want to believe it's true, eventually she will. That is something she has to work out, not you. Don't put the weight of this on your shoulders.
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A
male
reader, Borderline  +, writes (7 March 2012):
It's a good thing to think about your mothers feelings but I cannot imagine anybody who would put up with a person who touches his/her kids in the wrong way.
This guy is trouble and I doubt your mother would want to be with a person like this.
Question will always be if she believes you.
In the end I believe in telling the truth and I know that things will be difficult for a while.
What if it happens again and he does not stop?
I would not want to take that risk and neither should you.
Safety first.
Funny how they always say forget about it because you never will.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): Well I think you're in a really difficult situation here. I think it depends partly on how close you and your Mum are and whether you live with them. If you do live with them, then tell, her bf sounds pervy and if he thinks he can get away with it without you telling, he may well try it again.
If not:
If you don't think she'll believe you, don't tell. It will only cause arguments and accomplish nothing.
If she will, then personally I'd tell her. I'm sure you won't be the only girl he'll try it on with and he'll probably end up hurting/using her. Of course be aware that it will make your Mum very upset and things will probably be hard for a time.
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