A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i'm 13 and my mum is always telling me off, when i don't even do anything wrong. If i play a game on tele, computer,playstation, phone or any gadget i am told of, and everytime i do play a game she always says to me on purpose could you do this job for me, and when my brother is playing she don't saying nothing to him. I can't go to my friends house, i'm not allowed to invite a friend to come down my house, i'm not allowed to go out (not even to the corner shop) forget going out with my mates. It's like all my mum wants me to do is, homework and helping her around the house, when i've got 3 older sisters who can help her with it. The older sister already helps and knows how to cook, my other to sisters they can only cook basic and i on the other hand can cook more food and better food. My mum keep going on about how i got to learn how to cook and she makes times and days when i am going to learn but she don't get i have got my own things to do, and i got my mocks coming up and i need to revise but she don't let me. The only time i ever get to be alone without my mum with me is when i go to school, i go school with my mate, and i come back with the same mate too. but if i come a slight little bit late she has all these question poping up about why i came late, where i was. she acts like i'm doing something wrong, when most the time i get late cause the teacher lets us out late from class. If i want to go to some after school club she don't let me.when my brother hits me i go tell my mum (cause my mum said to me when he hits you tell me) and she calls my brother and he goes no she hit me, and then i get blamed for it, and shouted and told to go to my room.is there any sollusion for my mum stop being over worried etc..? any help would benice, and if you can do you know why she does this. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, helper111  +, writes (26 May 2009):
look its just because your mum cares about you try telling her that you are angry and your brother lies if she doesn't beleve you leve it and go to your room dont prevoke yelling love aggony aunt111
A
female
reader, claudearizzoPEOPLE;] +, writes (24 February 2009):
heyy im called claudea, im 13 to. my mums like yours, doesnt really let me do anything tells me of for the most stupidest things =/ and she is fussy! i mean fussy always moaning at me to do my room and the usual..
i hardy get out to, and she does the same makes me do stuff whn she knows ive got plans or im talking to my friends on msn its annoying ;)
maybe try explaining to her that you want to see your friends & you want some freedom. i think that would help you out:) oh yeh my mums a freak with homework to!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Youre lucky ure mum cares about you ...in a weird way. She at leaslt cares about your studies. My mum on the other hand beats me up, makes me do chores, doesnt let me do my homework & study, and forces me to be a religion i dont want to be..Now I need help :p
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): sorry about that, I'm affraid i cannot help you any better then too tell you about my personal experiences, and the text i wrote about what not too do and what too do is what worked best for me.
thanks
Michael Bo Andersen
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): i already have a mobile phone
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): no i don't play often, it was just that day i was bored so i played a game on my sisters phone and then my mum straight away said could you do this for me, but when my brother played first she never said nothing to her
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): Hi there, I know I'm not a female, but i will try too help anyway.
(sorry about the spelling, I'm from Denmark(Northern Europe) English/American, isn't my first language)
Your mom acts the exact same as my mom does, my personal experiences tells me that the best way too get past this part is too start talking more with your mother (remember to listen to her too, that way it will work best :D) and hold atleast 2 months break from all your electronic gadgets (I know it can be hard the first 2-3 days, and the last week) and then start with some kind of sport or hobby. Try act more alive, and show her that it's not the gadgets that keeps you going.
After you have done all that, then try too tell her(In a nice way) that you would like a life of your own, and that a cellphone(mobile phone) would be an easy way for her too reach you. Make sure that she knows where you are, be there at all times unless your tell her if you go elsewhere. Keep your promises with her (everything, but especially the time of arrival at home is important)then she will eventualy let more and more go of you, she will let you come later and later home, perhaps let you stay out for a day or two in the weekends or holidays.
Currently I'm 15 years old, I had it the same with with my mother when i was 13 years old. I got a sister who is 13 years old, she don't follow any of my "good ideas" which makes my mother and father realy confused about her, they wont let her stay out for long because they dont know what might happen, after being transportet home by a police officer, she behaved for 2 months, which made our parents think better about her, but then again, she started not too follow the rules and started too come too late home and say she is at a friends house when she went elsewhere.
I hope you could use it.
Thanks
Michael Bo Andersen
...............................
A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (7 January 2008):
I think that this is the worst time for mother/daughter relationships.
You're growing up and wanting some freedom and independence.
She knows that you are growing up and wants to keep you as her baby.
I haven't got a teenage child (yet) but my best friend does and they argue all of the time over the same type of stuff.
It sounds like you are resenting doing so much round the house, when your siblings aren't expected to do anything. You could try broaching the subject of a chores rota so that everyone has their own things to do and it's divided up fairly. It would also show your mum that you can be responsible.
As for the going out, your mum is probably worried sick about you - but she will learn to let go eventually. Could you try arranging to go to the cinema or bowling with your friends on a saturday or something. i think that's one of the first things I did alone. My mum dropped me off and picked me up but it showed her that she could trust me to be where I said I would be.
You could always suggest to your mum that you get a mobile phone, and that way you can ring her if you are going to be late home from school so that she will not worry so much - it will also give her peace of mind that she can contact you wherever you are.
Mum's worry so much about their children and it sound's like she loves you very much, that's why she is the way she is with you. Try to have a sit down chat with her whan your siblings aren't around, I used to ask my mum to come up to my bedroom or into the bathroom for some privacy and see if she'll listen to your side (you'll also have to listen to hers!) and hopefully you'll both be able to compromise a little bit.
Sounds silly I know but one day you'll get on again. My mum and I had so many rows throughout my teenage years but now that I'm an adult with my own children I get that she was just trying to protect me from the big bad world I didn't know existed and we are best friends again.
I wish you luck, take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 You cannot stop your mum from worrying about you. She is made like that. You need to see why your mum treats your sister differently.
Do you play those games too often? She is indirectly telling you to stop.
Some mothers are like what you describe. You just have to accept her as she is your mum.Some mums have no time for their kids.
Perhaps you may talk to your mum and ask her those question you posted in here.She may shed some light or enlightened you or make her think about her actions and treatment of you.
...............................
|
