A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Most days i feel really down and i think i may be depressed, i cry a lot and the smallest things can make me cry. i feel like everyone around me dont love me, i think my family hate me, i think my boyfriend hates me, i think my friends hate me. me and my mum argue a lot and when we do she puts me down by calling me fat and a slut. I'm a size ten but she has now drummed it into my head so when she calls me fat i believe she's right.The other night my dad called me fat too, I started crying and now i dont feel confident about myself, I think my mum is jealous of me, she makes nasty comments when I'm dressed up to go out, she will say things like "that dont look right" or "thats too tight. " My boyfriend tells me not to believe what they say because he says I'm not fat and am georgous but because of these put downs Ii dont believe him. My mum and dad are meant to love me and tell me i look nice but instead they make me feel bad about myself, my mum says the most nasy things to me sometimes like slut, slag, she even puts me down in front of my boyfriend, when we are all eating together she will say to him "if you weren't here that plate would be gone by now". I don't understand why my own mum puts me down so much.Some say she is jealous of me. She calls me fat but I'm a smaller size than her, she's a size 12, but yet she still has the nerve to call me fat. She's making me feel depressed, I even take diet pills, and now have a phobia of eating in front of people because I'm afraid they will think I'm fat, I cant even eat in front of my boyfriend and he's starting to notice that. Is it my mum that's done this to me? or is it all my fault, I'm only 17 and feel that my family shouldnt be putting me down like this.
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depressed, jealous, puts me down, too tight Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your comments, its helped me a bit and i think maybe she is jelouse of me.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): wow your mom is jealous i bet your mokin hot a size ten is my kind of girl seriously!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): You should find a counselor or trusted adult to confide in to talk about your feelings. The comments that your parents make may lead to a serious eating disorder. Your mom shouldn't say those things to you- maybe she was treated the same way when she was younger or takes her frustrations out on you. She could be jealous- you're young and have your whole life ahead of you. She should be supportive of you, but instead chooses to make those comments instead. Please seek some sort of help whether with someone or a group therapy session to know that you are not alone in your worries. Your bf sounds very kind and supporting. A good friend of mine is going through the same thing, except she is a bit older than you. She has an eating disorder and has dropped a serious amount of weight- now her mom is forcing her to eat, which probably confuses her because her mom used to call her fat. Please seek some kind of help so you can feel better about yourself! Take care sweetie!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 November 2009):
You're friends are right. She's actually jealous of you. this happens far more often that it seems. There are a lot of mothers who do become jealous of their daughters and feel they have to suddenly be in competition with them.
I think you need to speak to your doctor, because you are depressed and by not eating you could develop anorexia, which isn't something you want. Stop the diet pills, because size ten is perfectly healthy, and make sure you're eating. Your doctor will be able to suggest a few things to you, including therapy where you'll be able to talk to someone who can help you understand how you feel. You've done nothing wrong and you deserve better. Also, please listen to your boyfriend. He's being honest. And if worst comes to worst, don't be afraid to have a massive go at your mother about how she's treating you. You may not get anywhere, but getting all your feelings out might make you feel a bit better about it all.
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A
female
reader, Kat1235 +, writes (17 November 2009):
Your mum shouldn't be talking to you like this. At 17, your still young and your body is still changing, it can make you self conscious, the last thing you need is her comments.
Try talking to your mum, and ask her why she does it, and explain how much its upsetting you. If you're still feeling down about it all, go to your Doctor and explain about it all.
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