A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mum and dad are so protective, i dont know what to do to make them not like this? They say were only protective because we love you, but i dont want to be controlled all the time.. what can i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): Hey lady - I'm 35 and believe it or not I'm having the same flippin issues as you!!! Unfortunately I don't think protective parents change that much. I find the trick is to speak to your parents in an adult way - so that things become more 'adult to adult' rather than 'parent to child'. Also - give them the information that they need and be honest - no more, no less. There is no need to lie there is no need to exagerrate. Just be calm. This way they may have more respect for you. Also - be responsible. You want to go out and have fun but checking in with your parents with a quick phone call from your mobile or even just a text is totally ok and they want to understand you. There is always a balance as you get older between keeping your own privacy and keeping parents informed - even now I find that really hard to get right! If you had a serious boyfriend or even a husband they would be just as concerned so think of it as a kind of practice. Its just part of caring deeply for another human being. By meeting your Mum and Dad half way you will set a really good scene for the next few years and gradually they will trust and respect you as a growing adult more and more. It can be a win-win situation.
A
female
reader, rebecca.megan +, writes (7 April 2008):
 God, tell me about it, if anyone knows how you feel, i'm one of them. I ner go out with my mates, and barely have any because of this. All I've learned is honesty, if your mates ask you out one night, talk to them, sit them down and explain that your getting older and are entitled to a little bit of freedom, even if its not often. Go from there and see how it goes. Do NOT nag them constantly and throw a tantrum everytimes, because believe me, this makes it worse as in their eyes you'll still be seen as that immature child; even when you know your' not. Take steps gradually, don't lump aload on them at once and meet them half way. that way you've both made compromaises for each other. And if you think its because they don't trust you; this really isn't true, its because they don't trust other people around.
hope this helps.
x
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A
male
reader, molar305  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 I don't mean to offend you but you are between 13 and 15 years old. at that age i was not protected, but i wasn't allowed to do w/e the hell i wanted. as a result, i am a well balanced adult now. I don't mean to offend you but you have your whole life to live. Why are you in such a hurry to grow up? If you want to be allowed to date, i am the frame of mind, that there are men out there worse than me and i would definitely be careful of who my daughter dates.
To make them change their ways, you will need to prove to them that you aren't a screw up, whether it be with school, extra-ciricular activities or maybe even sports. its a bit difficult to give a more specific answer without knowing how they are being protective or how their personalities are
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Sweetie, you've got to understand that you are the apple of your parent's eye and they clearly adore you. My mum always says to me "Would you rather I just didn't care?" and to be honest, I'm glad she does.
They're overprotective because they don't want to see you hurt. You could try to talk to them about certain boundaries. Message me if you wanna chat. =] x
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