A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 years old, and despite my age, the news today that my mum is leaving my dad (after 34 years) is really hurting me. My mum said that she can't take any more and she deserves better - and that she waited until I was old enough for it not to affect me, but it is affecting me. She says she is moving out of the family home, where I live with my mum and dad. I am shocked. I feel wrong for being sad about it because of my age. I have 4 older siblings and because the news is just out, I haven't got to speak to them properly. We are a very, very close family and I don't know what this will mean for us now. Anyone with parents who divorced when they were adults? I wish I could afford to move out now, because it will be awful mum leaving.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): GOD,
Why the parents are so insensitive to children in the west.
this is unacceptable.
but you can not help it it seems. Because, laws of USA does allow very easy divorce to couple and sanctity of marriage has been completely taken off the mind of people in last 50 to 75 years.
I am still not sure what your MUM expects from every one else and what she knows as her duties towards all around. I am sure at this age, where she has lived nearly 2/3 of her life and passed the middle age and reaching to old age, she is leaving all behind.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 March 2010):
You can feel as sad as you need to. No one will stop you. And you're allowed to talk about it all as well. I think it's worth speaking with both her and your Dad about how you feel. Of course it's come as a shock. In many ways, perhaps even more of a shock than if she had left years before. You're still close to your siblings and both your parents, so speak to them about how you're feeling. For some reason, society says you can't show emotion and feel upset. Well you can. You're allowed to be upset, and no doubt you have a lot of questions that need answering too. Speak to your family.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (18 March 2010):
 Aw don't feel that its worng to feel sad about it because of your age. Your parents divorcing is a major change, especially if they're been married all your life and your family is close nit. It's going to be a complete shock and it will affect you deeply. I think your mum hoped that as you are now an adult, you will be better able to cope with the situation as you arn't dependant on your parents as you are as a child. But your parents divorce is going to impact your life and how you view your family, how you view relationships in the future and how you see yourself.
I remember my parents divorced when I was 15. My mum told me I was old enough to cope with the situation, not in thise exact words but she let me know she thought 15 was old enough to not be upset by such a thing happening. Unfortunately I then felt ashamed for feeling deeply upset and for not wanting it to happen. I took on board the message that I 'should' be ok, so I repressed my emotions about this and didn't tell anyone about how upset I was. I didn't tell my mum how I felt and how lost and hurt I was. So I never really dealt with my sadness about it. I think this then came out when I was older as drug abuse and depression. I'm ok now but I feel I could have prevented such experiences if I'd been able to talk about how I felt and dealt with it then.
So my strong advice is that you talk about how you feel honestly. Don't feel ashamed for feeling sad about this. That is perfectly natural and normal. They are your feelings and no one should tell you they're wrong. Speak to a couciller if you feel that might help. Try to talk to you sibling as they may be going through similar feelings to you.
Your parents divorce is like a death of an important relationship/person in your life. You will need to go through a mourning process. This will take time but you will get through and hopefully your mums decision will be for the best.
Good luck :)
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