A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have never had a good relatinoship with my mother. Myself and my 2 sisters have never got on with her. She is a very difficult and manipulative person and likes to pick fights. Last week we had an argument about something as usual. However, yesterday was my sons second birthday. My mum didnt get him a present or a card and didnt even say happy birthday to him when I went to visit her and my father and sister. This upset me greatly, especially when she was making snide comments about wanting me and my son to leave. This made me very angry and I kind of lashed out by pushing her a little bit. I couldnt contain the anger and hurt she had made me feel. But then to my horror she full on attacked me, flooring me with one punch and then jumping on top of me and punching me in the face and chest, all in front of my son who was screaming and crying in fear. My sister split us up and I grabbed my son and left but I have been in tears ever since because of the guilt I am feeling inside that he had to witness something like that and on his birthday too. I have never known my baby to see or hear any violence in his life until yesterday and I cant get the look he had on his little face out of my mind. Its killing me. But what is hurting more is that my own mum can use him to try and hurt me by not celebrating his birthday just because we had a quarrel the week before. I just cant get my head around how someone can take it out on a 2 year old. Its sick. So Ive decided that she will be having nothing to do with me or my son ever again. Im fine cutting her out of my life but what I cant get over is the guilt Im feeling inside for my poor baby. He was terrified. I will never forgive myself for it. But I cant stop crying and I cant get over it. He seems happy and back to normal now but for those few minutes he was terrified. And to be made to feel like that on his birthday is just breaking my heart. I am crying while I type this. How can I move on from this. I cant eat or sleep and I couldnt go to work today. My head is all over the place.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 You lashed out and pushed your mom... because she hadn't bought a birthday present for your child ??
Don't get me wrong, from her reaction she does sound like a mentally unbalanced person, or at least the ideal candidate for a Jerry Springer episode.
But, just to remind you ,that if you don't want your child growing up witnessing violent behaviour, first of all you MUST make sure you are not the one to ever initiate it, or put yourself into confrontations that you know could get out of control.
Keep your wits about you- and your hands along your sides.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 Your son is over it. Stop feeling guilty for somehow "scarring" him, he's fine. What you need to realize is that you want to feel sorry for yourself for getting beaten up when you physically started the fight.
One thing I learned a long time ago, unless you want a fistfight, don't put your hands on someone.
Let me repeat this, your son is fine. Don't start fights anymore. No big deal.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 I have to point out that you pushed her first, and though her reaction was disproportionate and uncalled for, you can't really blame it all on her. You had no business pushing your mother around, no matter what she said or did. Having said that, you have no reason to feel guilty because you have mentioned that your son has forgotten all about the incident and his happy now. If you continue to feel guilty about having exposed him to that...and fret and cry all the time...it will pull his spirits down and not let him forget. For the sake of your son, put this behind you and move on.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (12 April 2012):
 There isn't much you can do about what has happened other than to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Your mother sounds like a difficult and complex person and I agree, if she denied recognising your son's birthday because you had an argument, then she is being nasty and manipulative.
We cannot choose our parents and they don't always act in a way that we think they should. You can only work on being the best parent you can be to your son. Learn from what you have witnessed and experienced with your own mother and try to do things differently.
Your son is very young and it isn't likely that he will remember what happened, so you don't need to worry too much.
I am sure you are a little shocked at being attacked by your mother and even though you have a child of your own, you can ring CHILDLINE 0800 11 11 and speak to a counsellor to get out some of your sad feelings.
You have been subject to a common assult from someone who is suppose to love and nurture you...that is a huge issue to get your head around, but it is something you can move on from.
I wouldn't try building any bridges at the moment, it is up to your mother to come to you. Just focus on your son and getting yourself back on track again. You will be ok and you will be stronger for having gone through this and dealing with it.
Chin up sweetie, it wasn't your fault and you will be fine if you don't let it drag you under.
Hugs xxx
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