A
female
age
51-59,
*rying123
writes:I am relocating to a different city. My mother lives with me and she doesn't want to relocate with me. She has sundowning sometime and I don't feel comfortable leaving her behind. How can I convince her to go with me. We have been living together for 6 months my mother and I. She gets upset when she has to help me out with bills and says she wants to get her own apartment as she is very stingy with her money. When we look for apartments for her she says the are too expensive even ones that are $500 a month. She gets more than enough SS to cover $500 or $600 a month. Her doctor says she does not have early stages dementia. Would I be wrong to leave her behind she only knows a few people here from the Kingdom Hall she attends. She is a Jehovah Witness and is really not suppose to be around me as I am not a Witness. The man I love is in the new city and I can't wait to be with him again. He has a new job there as he could not find one here.
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male
reader, human_male  +, writes (26 May 2013):
 I think you should go, live your own life. Do your best to set your mum up so she will be ok when you leave. But don't let her guilt you into not going.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2013): I know first hand how tough it is to leave your parents particularly in their old age and move somewhere else, however from what I understand your mom does not want to live with you anyways and it is not selfish of you to be with the man you love and to live your life. You say your mom wants her own apartment !! Can she get an apartment in a retirement/senior home where she can be independent and yet will have someone there if she needs help. How far is the other city where you want to relocate from your mom? Do you think you can drive up there and check on her?
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 May 2013):
 Sometimes, you just have to grow up and cut the apron strings that bind you...
I see nothing in your submittal that would/could/should prevent you from getting on with your life.... and expecting that your Mother will get on with her's, without you in it....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2013): I am reading your post as if this is mine.
I did move.
I dont regret it.
Life is short. You can manage this. Is not moving overseas like I did. Continent to Continent and I did it.
Talk to her and let her know you will be fine, she will be fine, and you are going ahead with your own life.
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