A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19, dating a 34yr old. My mother hates me for it. She says if my dad were still alive, he'd be dissapointed. She shuts me out doesn't want to listen to anything I say. I try and try but nothing. She compares me to a whore and says she'd rather see me dead then with him. She says that she can't wait until I find out that he's married or has kids etc so I can learn. I care for him and he cares for me. He's bought me medicine when I'm sick, took me to college appointments, bought a plane ticket to bail me out of a bad situation and is a shoulder for me to cry on. If it doesn't last forever I don't care-I'm happy with the moments we've had. But, I'm so hurt. My fav aunt now is also against me and I do feel so depressed, I wonder if I should just go away and dissapear. I can't take it. I already get jitters and nightmares and work kills me. He keeps me steady when I'm close to breaking. I never wanted him like this-I didn't want an older man. But now, I'm considered a foolish whore by my mom etc. Plz help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): wow, ur in a tough situation:) i get what your saying, and i get what your mom is saying. your mom is just worried about your safety. if you had a little girl and she grew up so fast, then she started dating an older man. wouldent you be worried? your mom is saying he could be a total creep who just likes young ladies and could easily overpower you. but i get where your coming from too. this guy might be a gentleman, heck, i dont know him. but you should just be careful about this dude. and you dont want to lose your mom, ever. because if you lose your mom, then this dude walks out on you, or you walk out on him....you could lose them both. just be careful. and your mom wouldent rather see you dead then happy. no mother would.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 May 2011):
I agree with Flynn 24 at the bottom. Your mother's behaviour is pretty disgusting really. I actually don't think it has anything to do with the age of your boyfriend - it could have been a guy your age and she'd have done the same thing.
I actually think your mother is jealous because of losing your father. She was probably expecting you to be around her forever, since she hasn't really got anyone else. Now you're seeing a guy, and she feels threatened because you're moving on in your life.
Stick with the guy if that's what you want to do, and just tell your mother that she needs to get her own life. And if she calls you a whore again, shrug. Don't give her any reaction other than a shrug.
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A
female
reader, LW +, writes (2 May 2011):
Why are they SO against your relationship, has he ever been violent towards you or anything like that???Have you ever confided in you mother of a problem that you have had with you man, and so placed him in a negative light in their eyes??If none of the above apply, your man treats you well and there is literally NO good reason for your mothers behaviour, then she is just a bitter and twisted woman who has simply placed her twisted views onto your aunt and forced sideings.Anyways, best not try to understand you moms issues, she is probably just jealous of you. Jealous that you are a young happy lady and she never will be again.This is not your problem honey, it is her's. Most moms at some point do become envious of their daughters lifes, my mom did with I. She has said some twisted uncalled for things to my sister and I, very similar to as your mom has done to you.Ignore it please.You are a grown young lady and are old enough to make decsions alone and to experiance pain of a break up too if that were to happen.But I say be happy, stay happy with your man,.. ignore your mum and aunt until they apologise to you or begin acting differently.You deserve to be completely happy!! :)Do not loose your freinds though,.. you will need them to be there for you.Try not to give every breathing moment to your man though,.. consider the relationships that you had with other people (friendships, ect) before you were in a relationship with him,.. and do not forget about them or stop seeing them. You will not regret it!I hope you stay happy and hope I helped:) x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): Your mom is very worried about you and is reacting very emotionally. She does not hate you. She is just very upset and probably feels very helpless (even more so because she has to deal with it herself. I am sorry about your dad.) People say hurtful things when they cannot control their emotions, and I'm sure that in her heart, your mom regrets calling you hurtful names.Most guys in their 30s would not want to be with a 19-year-old, except for one thing. The difference in life experience, thinking, etc. is significant with your age difference. So do be very careful, and watch out for the possibility that he is married or otherwise involved, or just using you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): Her problem. Not yours.You are legal adults, and if you feel the love and want to be in a relationship, then your mother either deals with it or she loses a daughter, it's that simple.You owe her NOTHING. She raised you. Now take that information you have gained out into the world and find love and happiness in whatever way suits you, whether your mother agrees or not.What more can she really ask of you? To run every guy by her before you even go out on a date? This isn't Nazi Germany.Flynn 24
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