A
female
age
30-35,
*mandanash
writes:Me and a certain very shy guy had a thing for eachother for a couple years. More of an unspoken spark for eachother. Finally last summer he spoke up and asked why we had never dated. We talked about the whole relationship and we agreed we wouldn't date at that point because he was going far away to school. I told him I had feelings for him and would wait for him to come back. I was very upset.We would talk on facebook often and keep in touch, but eventually flame turned to dust and I had moved on to a new love interest. I felt ok moving on since i knew he was going to be gone for at least 2-4 years, and our facebook chats were dull sometimes because he was such a shy individual.Suddenly everything changed and he came back at christmas. He messaged me and would ask me when we could hang out next. I was very very busy at school and said I wouldn't be coming home for at least a month or more and wouldn't be able to see him.At that point, we didn't contact each other anymore. At Christmas time I was seeing someone else and he never contacted me. I figured things had just died out between us, which wasn't new, since it had happened before.Now im back from school for the summer, and my feelings for him are stronger than ever. Problem is he ignores me when we see eachother, I messaged him on facebook but he never responded and he just doesn't approach me to talk anymore.I have a boyfriend, but my feelings for this other guy have been going on for years and are much stronger than that for my boyfriend right now.What should I do? Dump my boyfriend? Or just forget the shy guy and move on with my life? Help?
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christmas, facebook, move on, shy, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 if you are serious about the guy you have held a torch for, for a very long time, then yes. Yes you do need to end the current relationship. Clear the decks, so to speak.
He would know that you have been seeing others. Word spreads quickly. And the world is a small place.
Meanwhile he is shy. He may have thought that his infrequent contact would be enough to keep you interested.
People often think everyone else thinks like they do.it can be a big shock to find this is not so.
Once you have broken up with (about to be mr Ex, ) then you can contact your former gut. But this time surprise him. Send him a sincere written letter and a current photo of yourself.
Ask him if he will give you a second chance? Get a stamp, and post the note to him.
In this instant age with email, facebook, skype etc you can stand out from the crowd and give him somethinng as sincere and personal as a hand written posted letter.
But do put a time limit on how long you will wait for his decision. He may be hurting so very very bad. So don't expect an instant decision.
Give him six weeks to decide.
If he does not respond by the end of six weeks you will know you have done your best. And by leaving him with your photo and a lovingly written hand written letter - these are the things that start love stories.
Be patient. Things may still work out yet.
Good luck with this
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): Someone told me that If you're in love with two people at the same time. Choose the second one. Cause if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn't have the guts to love somebody else.
But as I see this guy ignores you. You can't throw yourself to him because you have a boyfriend. Tell this guy what you still feel. And if it doesn't work. Just enjoy your life with your boyfriend. It's practically,emotionally cheating.
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