A
female
age
30-35,
*OSTHOPE
writes:So, I'm a 20 year old lesbian. I just recently met a 46 year old woman and we get along great. Most girls my age don't work, don't want to attend college and believe in anything but lies. We share what seems like a million a 10 things in common, we compliment each other quite nicely. But the problem is, my mother and a few others disapprove of the 26yr age difference...she's a year older then my mother. Is this really such a bad thing?
View related questions:
lesbian Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009): Most girls my age don't work, don't want to attend college and believe in [nothing] but lies.
Not true. It sounds to me like you know this isn't a good idea and are making excuses to rationalize it.
A
female
reader, xfaithx  +, writes (3 September 2009):
I know how you feel, I'm also 20, and I had a relationship with a 32 year, where everyone disapproved. But it's just experience, you start to realise what you want and what they want, so you should just give it a try and see what happens, no matter what any one says. Maybe you should both sit down and discuss the age gap see what you both think. Hope it works out for you....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): Age gaps can work i was in a 20 year straight relationship, we have 3 beautiful children together. The trouble is we do change mate. My now ex and i are great friends but our marriage ended becuase I had to grow up. I was 15 when we met and he was 34. At the age of 32 i wanted/needed more thsn sitting at home as a wife and a mother. He wanted the old me. Our marriage ended 3 years later because he had become set in his ways and could not accept that i was changing. I could not turn back the clock and could not live in this negative atmosphere. Bottom line is the marriage ended. We are now very good friends. I could never go back i am now happy as a single independent mum who answers to no-one. Things were great for a long time and i sometimes wish we could have avoided the hurt and worked together and stayed married. I think an age gap relationship can work because ours out lived many same age relationships. It's like any relationship, it takes two to make it work. At the end of the day you might have a year together or 25 years the improtant thing is you are happy now. Go for it mate, good luck enjoy your life.or you could take home a complete nutter the same age as you and tell your mum you think she's right age does matter. She'll be phoning the 46 year old in seconds inviting her round for dinner !!
...............................
A
female
reader, silly sue +, writes (20 August 2009):
You are both adults and that is what matters. It is very rarely that people meet someone in their twenties and stay together for the rest of their life. But making experiences is where the fun lies!
I would advise you to be cautious with an older partner simply because they know more what they want- don't compromise who you are for her and don't let this relationship interfere with the course of your life- but that is advice that I would give to anyone.
Also not everyone needs to know about this relationship, it is a kind of big age difference and people do like to complain about things that don't fit, BUT as I said you are both adults and it is no ones business but yours and hers.
Keep it discreet as "friends" and only come out once you are absolutely sure it is serious. Don't rush it, and teat it like an adventure..
to me being lesbian is about loving the company of women- it doesn't always have to lead to a traditional monogamous and sexual relationship: there are different shades of friendship and eroticism between women and take your time to enjoy them all...
So no, the age difference is not a bad thing at all between consenting adults but it is unusual, so be aware of reactions of others and try to be more private about your relationship- being vague and defining her as friend should help- that way you will give them some information to keep them satisfied and you will also be able to live your life.
You don't need their opinion or approval...they are probably good meaning but only you can know what is right for you.
good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (18 August 2009):
 She disapproves of this relationship for a reason. Listen, I know the entire idea these days is 'love is love' and all that nonsense, but really, love is a lot more complicated than just emotions. Emotions are unreasonable, and with this comes the lack of ability to see the truth sometimes. People with that much of an age difference realistically have little in common. You two are at very different stages of your life. Does she have kids? She's old enough to be your mother, which must put your mom off pretty bad in the first place. To say that all girls your age 'believe in lies' is just a ready made excuse that you have accepted so you can just settle with a woman who is forty-six years old. Love is not just love. Love is so much more complicated.
It sounds like you are believing in a lie yourself. Maybe you should broaden your dating pool a little more and find someone as young as you are.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (18 August 2009):
 Being in your twenties is all about figuring out who you are, what you like and who you want to be with. The age difference is significant, especially for a twenty year old, however, if the two of you start out as friends and see how that goes I think that would be acceptable.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): No i think age doesnt matter as long as you are happy together thats all that really matters.......ppl will disapprove but like i said it doesnt matter wat other ppl think only wat you think matters so if you love this girl then be with her.
...............................
A
female
reader, LOSTHOPE +, writes (18 August 2009):
LOSTHOPE is verified as being by the original poster of the question I made a correction to this topic in another post! I ment to say that girls my age believe in nothing but lies. Sorry for the mix-up! Thanks to all who answer...
...............................
|
