A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My brother and I found out my mom is having an affair with a married co-worker.Not to mention, my dad works in the same company as my mom. She secretly has a cell phone and we found love notes in her email. My dad has noticed my mom very differently. he thinks she might be having an affair. My dad is stressing himself too much over this.And my mom refuses to talk to my dad about anything. She even sleeps in another room. My brother and I have confronted my mom about this but she denies it and all. We don't know what to do! How else can we confront her? What can we tell my dad?
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female
reader, ninjalove +, writes (10 April 2008):
 I know people are giving you a hard time but they are right the do need to do this them selfs.Just try to stay out of it and live your life I know its hard but you need to.Go out and have fun.If they bring you or your brother into it tell them they need to deal with it them selfs.I know its hard because you love them but it's for the best.
I'm sorry
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Dear poster, this is not to say that I approve cheating, or that I don't understand that you can be in pain over knowing that your mother cheats on your father and not giving him the bad news. However, I think this should be your mother's and your father's issue to solve. They are the married couple here. Let them be the ones who decide things for themselves.
If your parents are sleeping in separate rooms, I suppose your father knows how bad the marriage is.
I'm not condoning her cheating, but, you know, sometimes appearances are deceiving. Do you know if your father has cheated on your mother? Do you know the dynamics of their relationship? I bet you don't. Let them sort this out by themselves.
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A
female
reader, yoginipirate +, writes (10 April 2008):
 If you've already confronted her, why are you asking if you should do it again? You and your brother are adults, as is your dad. This is between them. You can't fix this for them. To demonize your mom is naive and immature; to try to be the hero for your dad is too. Do not take sides. Your parents have to handle this for themselves. Sounds like he knows anyway. If you provide him with "evidence" it may force his hand before he's ready to deal with it. You don't know the private matters of their love life & how long they may or may not have been intimate with one another---it is also none of your business. Don't alienate either one...don't force their hand...be there to support & love them both because when the dust settles each will still be your parent. You guys are adults now & old enough to understand that life isn't just black or white. Be glad they stayed together long enough to raise you both, now STAY OUT OF IT!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): While I'll be the first to say that children should mind their business....I must say this.....I was very muture menatally at age 11 and was considered a prodigy child by many. I will say this to you...YES! Confront your mom and tell her what you know and tell her how this is affecting you both and how you believe this will affect your entire family. Good luck to you all!
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