| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has a lot of girls in his MSN contacts. He says he doesn't talk to them anymore, that he met them a long time ago in some chatrooms, out of boredom and just added them. They all have this silly cute nicknames. So I guess they're all silly and cute, in a good charming way that guys love. I'm not silly, and definitely not cute. I'm one of those girls who are never looked twice at, not the sweetest one around, I don't like pink, I'm a bit shy and more of a nerd. That kind of girls threaten me! Boys like silly/sweet/cute girls!To make matters worse he got mad at me for even mentioning how many girls he has in his list. So that, to me, is suspicious. I never attacked him, I just asked about them in a non confrontative way. He got all defensive, didn't say much about them, AND told me I was being unfair because of a couple of guys I used to have in MSN, who had added me and that I had already deleted. I know this is a stupid thing, but it bothers me. What should I do? He clearly won't talk about it nicely. Also, why, if he supposedly doesn't talk to them anymore, has he not deleted them? Do guys like silly/sweet/cute girls better? More cheerful ones? I know for a fact that most of his exes were like that, I'm his first "geek". Help, I'm confused!
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chat room, his ex, msn, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 April 2008):
One of the most best pieces of advice I have EVER been given went something along the lines of..."how a couple solves their differecnes/problems/issues is what will determine if it BREAKS or MAKES them".
So how does this relate to you? Well you and your bf are having an issue about how many girls he has on his msn list and when you asked him about it (what did you actually say by the way?) he responded in a negative way. His reaction may suggest something suspicous, but what alarms me is that you said he got mad at you. Can you describe more how he behaved in reaction to your confrontation?
Also, he turned the problem around onto you which in my experience is a negative thing, hes trying to place blame on you rather then face that he has caused you some pain by having all those girls on his list. Rather them sympathising, hes too busy about placing blame. Have you guys have many other arguments? How did he behave?
If he cant talk about a problem in a nice way then what hope does he have of having a mature and HEALTHY relationship with anyone? Not much. You may need to consider if you even want to be with someone who is acting like that especially if it occurs frequently. Atleast let him know you will not accept his behaviour of disrespecting you when trying to talk calmly and rationally about problems.
As to your other question, do guys like more cheerful girls? Well I think in genral most people like being around happy people because they lift their spirits up. Being around someone who is always down will bring you down with them.
Hope this has helped :)
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