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My mom is dating a guy a little older than me. Do I need to step in?

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 August 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, *arktooth_1993 writes:

My mom who is in her mid 40s is in a relationship with a guy who is apparently in his early 20s. Their relationship is merely based on sex from what I can tell. She wears low cut tops and short shorts when she hangs out with him. i moved out of the house as i'm 19 years and need to attend college so I don't know what's up with her. Is their relationship considered normal? And is her clothing unusual in any way? Do I need to interfere?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyes

no and

no

yes the relationship is normal my fiance is 39 and I'm 52

no her clothing is not unusual especially if she has the figure for it. my fiance prefers me in high heels and short skirts. I tend to indulge him in this more often than not.... and I'm not shopping in the kiddie stores...

and should you interfere... NO you should not... there is nothing that you need to interfere in...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012):

Why don't you try to date or hookup with an older woman?

And see her reaction.

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A male reader, MikeEa1 Australia +, writes (5 August 2012):

MikeEa1 agony auntI would be embarassed if I was you.

Imagine if it was your Dad with a woman your age. People should be more cautious about these things. Anyway its not your problem or business really. Just take a back seat and don't get too involved.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (4 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntNo, she is a grown woman. She can make her one decisions and mistakes.

Good for her!

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (4 August 2012):

No, you shouldn't interfere. It's your mom's business and although how she's acting is "weird" to you, which I can understand because she's not acting how you think a mom should act--it's her deal. You don't need to save her, I'm sure she knows what she's doing and is enjoying herself. You may not approve or even be concerned about her getting hurt because the guy is way too young for her, but it ain't her first time at the rodeo!

The only way I could see it reasonable to interfere is if he tries to take advantage of her financially to where she's not able to even live comfortably--then maybe mention something. If she's just having fun with a younger guy, then just let it be her business.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012):

I understand how embarrassing it must be for you, but hang in there it probably will be over soon.

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A female reader, ComeDownWithLove United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2012):

Let your mom make her own mistakes, she's old enough and wise enough to know there's a chance of getting hurt here if she puts her heart in it, but by the sounds of her provocative clothing, it seems she's entising it.. Let her have her fun.

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (4 August 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntYour mom is an adult and can date or sleep with any man she chooses. I know you probably don't like it, but just as you would not like her interfering with someone you were dating, you don't have any right to interfere with someone she is dating. I know you do not want your mom to get hurt, but being hurt is a risk you take when in any kind of friendship or relationship. Find a new hobby to keep your mind off your mom. If her relationship is not meant to work out, it won't.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012):

"Is their relationship considered normal?"

Yes.

"And is her clothing unusual in any way?"

No.

"Do I need to interfere?"

Definitely not.

OP your mom is a grown woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself and it sounds to me like she's enjoying her life. Is dressing that way because she feels more confident and sexy and is probably having a good time. Why would you want to do anything to ruin that for her? Leave her to it. She's just a woman having a bit of fun and getting hers.

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