A
female
age
30-35,
*aby doll
writes:my mum found out in not a virginyesterday my mum out of the blue asked me if me and my b/f were sleeping together. iv been with him for 5 months and we had so i said yes and told he everything. i didnt want to lie to her but as she is never home, and not exactly the kind of person you have a heart to heart with, if she didnt ask directly i wasnt going to tell. the thing is she thinks its the guy im with now that i lost it with when in fact it was my last b/f almost 2 years ago. its killing her to know this now so if she know it was when i was 14 it would destroy her what do i do she is bearly talking to me and wants me and my b/f to stop seeing one another. any advice would help thank you.xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, baby doll +, writes (16 July 2007):
baby doll is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks guys so much your advice really is helping we have found somewhat of a common ground were still not as close as we used to be but i realise this will take time. thanks again.xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Your mother is just trying to protect you from getting hurt and or pregnant, and she is within her rights to ask you to stop sleeping with boys while you live under her roof....Do you really think it is a good idea to have sex when you are still living at home, financially dependent on your mom, and could not support an unwanted pregnancy?
That said, tell your mom you have been sexually active since the age of 14, and be sure that you are seen regularly by a doctor, tested for std's and are on the birth control pill or patch, not just relying on condoms for birth control....speak openly to your mother about using protection, and if she still forbades you to see this boy, then perhaps she sees him for what he is, a horny teen boy, and not the romantic guy you see him as....guys have a way of making their girlfriends believe they feel more than they actually do to get sex, your mom's radar and judgement will be more accurate than your own, so take a listen before shutting her out.
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A
female
reader, kristinakutie  +, writes (15 July 2007):
 hey.. uhm ok.. ya, i was also 14 when i lost it.. and my mom found out to when he broke up with me becuase i had a major meltdown.. but it killed her to know that i was only 14 when i lost it. she did get over it because she also did realize that kids screw up sometimes, and i'm quite certain that your mom loves you and will talk to you again.. after all, your her daughter.. i'm sure she will take awhile to get over it, if she does.. just give her time. remember, she loves you.. and maybe you could try talking to her, sitting, her down and tell her how shes making you feel by doing this.. or maybe you could, well i dont know, but what i do know is that when this happened, it helped to tell my mom what happened, and explain to her everything.. i know that you said you told her everything but maybe you know she just feels hurt that you didnt tell her when you first did it.. and thats probably whats hurting her the most. she knows thta you've been doing it for 2 years now, and you didnt tell her.. shes probably also having trouble realizing that you arent her little baby anymore.. all mom's go thru this at 1 point or another.. some, like yours and mine, ealier than others, but none the less, they all go thru it.. well i'm sorry if that seems all mixed up but i hope it helps..
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A
female
reader, WorriedGirl  +, writes (15 July 2007):
hey, well thats terrible, but i know how you are feeling. my mum found out that i slept with some one when i was 13, i didnt want to do it but i was forced to. Im with another boy now and i have been for him a while and we have sex reguarly my mum doesnt know, well she never asks me but she probly thinks it. just try to explain to your mum that you trust him and you wanted to have sex with him it wasnt him forcing you. im not the best agony aunt but i hope i can help you good luck bbe x x x
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