A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday my mom found my birth control. She's very upset about it however, I am 22 and I don't see the problem in taking it. I am her only child and she has always been very overprotective of me, I don't think she realizes how old I am. I've never done anything, ever, to betray her trust. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and only very recently started to have sex. I feel that I have been very responsible with my decisions and my choices. When she found them and she immediately started yelling at me, assuming that I have been having sex, and she told me that she doesn't want me to get so serious about him because he is younger than me and she tells me that he is going to leave me.My mom has always been unreasonable, I've told her that I'm not having sex and that I'm taking them to regulate my periods and to reduce cramps because I actually do get extreme cramps every month. She's not convinced, and I feel pretty uncomfortable that she knows, she's never been the type of mom to make me feel comfortable and talk to me about these things. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): For a mother to make you feel guilty and wrong to be having sex is irresponsible on her part. Yeah sure we can excuse her for being over-protective but its still disgraceful. Bottom line is she is projecting HER issues with sex in relationships onto you without giving you the respect you deserve to find your way in life. At your age you can do what you like and you don't answer to her. Are you living at home? If this situation continues I would strongly recommend you move out and house share with friends. Sex is not something to be ashamed of.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): GOOD! She needs to realize that you're an adult, she needs to acknowledge that you're a sexual being and then butt out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): you're an adult. She needs to respect that. And at least you're being safe. She certainly cant stop you having sex, and would she rather you fall pregnant to this guy that she thinks will leave you? Stress that its your body, your choice, and that she should respect you
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 WOAH talk about overprotective! You'r 22, an adult, and you can do what you want. Don't let your Mum stop you. Stress to her that you're capable of your're own decisions, for goodness sake you're in your twenties! And tell her that by carrying on like this, she is gradually pushing you away.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2010):
 "Thank you for your concern, Mom. I'm 22 and it's now my job to take care of myself. I'll take it from here. Love you!"
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 July 2010):
 22,, wiw, your mum has a problem in letting go and seeing you a legal adult.. Reassure her that you still love her, but you got to do your own thing..
22, wow!!!!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 July 2010):
You're 22, and you're making the right decisions about birth control. Your mother will just have to like it. End of. You don't owe her explanations, because you're an adult, and you're using contraception. I think this is very much a case of your mother not wanting you to grow up. Reassure her that you love her, but make it clear that you must make your own choices. That's it. She can scream all she likes, but you're a grown woman, and a smart one.
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