A
female
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*bw1989
writes:I'm in love, I am really in love- I get on with his parents, and vice versa. My mum has seen my boyfriend once- and she took an irrational instant dislike to him.We've been going out for two weeks, and mum doesn't know. Now I'm too scared to tell her as she has told me this guy creeps her out. The only words he said to her were "Hello, how are you?", so I don't understand why she has formed this dislike. She has had bad experiences with very bad men, leaving us as a one parent family, so I get the feeling she dislikes all men on the planet- but she seems to especially dislike my love of my life.I really don't know what to do- if i tried to talk it over rationally with Mum she'd just yell at me, and we'd get nowhere. I can't talk to mum, she thinks she's always right! I really need some help, please help me someone! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, midgetgem +, writes (6 June 2006):
 If your Mum has had as many bad experience as you say she may be trying to protect you in her own way, don't resent her for that it's only natural for parents to be protective of their children.
Don't rush in and tell her that you're with this new bloke, it's very early days yet and you don't know how the relationship is going to go.
Perhaps you can arrange for her to meet him on neutral territory, say with other friends who like him who can tell her what a really good guy he is. Then she can have more time to form an opinion of him which isn't based on her own negative experiences of men.
If she still has a negative view of him then you really do need to talk to her about your relationship with this guy in time and ask her what it is about him that she doesn't like ... maybe you can put her mind at rest about what's troubling her.
Whatever happens don't fall out with your mum about this, try to remain calm and tell her that you'd really like her approval and that you'd like her to give him a chance.
A
reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (6 June 2006):
 If your mum have had experiences with men before perhaps she doesnt want the same thing to happen to you... she is just looking out for you because she doesnt want the same thing to happen to you! Just tell her how you feel about him, and she may change her mind... good luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006): I don't mean to sound rude... but you are going to have to sit her down and explain things. More than likely she will come around. You should ask her why she dislikes him so much. I had this problem too. My mum totally supported me after we discussed our views. I hope this was some help and best of luck.
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