A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:But if a weird question here, just looking for advice. I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now (we're both 17) and we started sleeping together after 2 months but only when I've gone to his house and I'm not allowed to stay over at his because my mum doesn't want us to have sex yet. His family is fine with it and we're both safe.I was talking to my mum the other day and she told me that she wants me to wait before going to the next step with him as I'm "not ready" but I've already slept with him 5 times and now I kind of feel like I've betrayed her? I don't want to tell her because she'll kill me.All this being said she wants me to go on the pill so I don't know what she's thinking?
View related questions:
the pill Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, worriedgirl2012  +, writes (15 February 2016):
I personally think you're too young but that's neither here nor there...
Sex is a BIG deal. You say you're being safe, but YOURE not on birth control! Condoms do not always work. Don't just rely on condoms!
You should get on the pill ASAP and take a pregnancy test just in case. It's VERY important to take the pill every day at the same time. You want to act like an adult? You've got to be responsible about this.
His parents are ok with you sleeping at his house? Wow.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2016): Hi OP here just like to say that my father died and although k get along with my step dad I don't feel comfortable discussing this with him
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2016): "I don't know what she's thinking?"
She's very likely thinking she doesn't want to get stuck raising the grandkid you are very likely to conceive otherwise and would be completely unable to support when boyfriend abandoned you as soon as you told him you were pregnant.
You don't mention your father, if he's not in the picture then perhaps she doesn't want you repeating her mistake because she's probably very aware you're ignoring her warnings the same way she ignored your grandmother's.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (12 February 2016):
 Mums just worried about you thats all. Starting a sexual relationship is not always just about the physical it is about the emotional and psychological too. I guess she, as her little girl, just wants to make sure that you are ready on all levels so I do understand where she is coming from to a point. You know your self and I think what ever you have decided you are ready for and can cope with, is up to you. You say that you are 'safe', I assume you mean using protection? That shows you are at least responsible for yourself, as is he, which make you both mature young adults. You have done nothing wrong so be confident knowing in yourself that you should be able to share this with mum if that is what you wish. If it does bother you that much why not just sit mum down and tell her that you understand that she may be worried and for that you love her BUT... she needs to trust that you can make good judgment calls about what feels right for you. She may be a bit disappointed but it kind of goes with the territory of knowing that your kids are growing up. Hope that helps
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2016): Don't tell her.Really, it's none of her bussiness.It's not fundamental nor necessary that she knows. Of course, it would be great if you could talk with your mom about this matter without feeling you are being judged by her. But if you don't feel "safe" to talk about this with her, then DON'T DO IT. Talk about sex matter with someone you trust, and/or find webpages about health pages, sex and the many anticonceptive methods there are. Get all the info you can about this just in case! and enjoy yourself with your bf as much and safe as you can.The pill may be in case you both actually end up doing it, so it better be in a safe way to avoid you getting pregnant being so young. And, really, you two are 17, youngs with the hormones all high! Anyone, including your mom, KNOWS that it's highly probable that you and your bf end up doing it anyways ;) SO better be safe than sorry!
...............................
|
