A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm pregnant and everytime I seem to ask for some help from my mom it seems like I'm asking her for a lung. We never had the best relationship she's there and she provides love and whatnot but besides that she can be really really coldhearted. For example I just told her about how my friend has a really close friend of hers and she just lost her baby at 33 weeks my mom was like "that's horrible was it her first?" I told her no it was like her fourth baby then my mom was like "oh okay well...." Like it wasn't as bad, she still felt bad but like if it was a come and go pass thing. I in the other hand feel horrible for her, being at 27 weeks that stuff freaks me out. I don't live with my mom anymore when I first met my bf we were dating like at the fourth month of our relationship I moved in with him. I don't like visiting much because everytime I do she makes remarks like you should eat before you come you eat all my food now that your pregnant.... I'm like what the hell are you serious? You have no food in your fridge you guys live off fast food...she gets lazy to cook. She favors my younger brother so much so so so much! I don't know how to make it better to not resent her sometimes. She's my mom but she makes it really hard to love her sometimes. This is not even half of the stuff she's done or does.
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female
reader, Wise_little_elf  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 I had to reply to this, as i am sure we share the same mother!! Mine is exactly the same, and as the years have passed, i've become to understand her more. She's rarely nice to me, has never showed me affection though. This doesn't mean she loves you any less, some people show their love in a different way. I myself wear my heart on my sleeve, my mother doesn't. Your her child, she loves you beyond your belief, trust me, she just isn't good at expressing it. You should talk to her, an tell her that your in a fragile state being pregnant, and would really like to go threw this experience knowing she's by your side, and that sometimes her cold ways hurt you. If it doesn't work sometimes we have to accept, not all people are they way we want them to be, an we have to love an accept them for who they are anyway. I'll never have a great relationship with my mother, we'll never be phone buddies, or go shopping together, but i love her all the same, an she loves me. You'll understand how she loves you unconditionally when you have your own baby, an that sometimes parents believe their tough love is for the best, even if we don't no why.
A
male
reader, Uncle PJ +, writes (8 March 2012):
 It would seem she's resenting you for leaving her. I know it's not your fault but parents (as you will find out) go through a hell of a lot to bring us up and when we leave them, it kills them. Some parents are more willing to accept it than others and it would seem that your mother wasn't as willing to accept it.How approving was she when she found out you were pregnant? That could be another reason why she is slightly resenting you. She could be jealous that your boyfriend has taken you and that you've began to start a family and are growing up.It must be hard for you because it makes you feel bad. But remember that your mum does love you very much and will be there for you when you need her. Just maybe try to communicate with her a little bit more and try to rebuild the relationship and she how she acts. Good luck with the baby and I wish you and your mum all the luck in your communication.
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