A
female
age
30-35,
*xhelpmexx
writes:Im 15 and have had ZERO experience with a boy. All my friends have snogged boys, gave and been given oral gave handjobs, been fingered. And i have not done any of that. The most i have done is hugged a boy! I feel so repulsive. Im 5"1, 9st 5 and the fact that no one wants me makes me feel so unattractive. OK, so i do not go out that much because i do not really have a large group of friends. I just fear i am going to end up a lonely 40-year-old virgin and no one will marry me and have my children. I DON'T want to have sex at this age, and will only do it when i feel i am ready. But girls younger than me and the not so popular ones are snogging boys etc. So why does no one want me? Is it because i do not go out enough to get some experience? Please, please help me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): I was the same when I was your age. It was frustrating and upsetting and I cried a lot!
It turned out (I only found out years later) that apparently a lot of the boys felt intimidated by me, as they thought I was too intelligent for them. Well, there may be some truth in that, as I've a high I.Q. But there are a lot of people who are brighter than me.
Some also thought I was snobby, but I was just shy and quiet. That was a misunderstanding.
Some also saw me as too beautiful and "out of their league". I laughed when I found out. They had to be joking. I've never thought that I was beautiful. Catherine Zeta-Jones, yes. Me, no. A short thing with hair so blonde I looked as if a bag of flour had burst over me. Now, I see them as compliments. But believe it when I say that boys can find anything intimidating. Maybe you're too tall for some of them and they feel their masculinity is threatened. Ah, what a shame for them.
Honestly though, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, so don't try to find faults with yourself. It may, afterall, be the opposite.
Or have you ever considered that these other girls are too easy and that the boys have no respect for them? Maybe they simply respect you too much and think you're more worthy of dating properly and not messing around with when you're all a bit older?
Probably in a year's time, you'll wonder why you were upset at all and laugh at how lucky you are because you have a great boyfriend who loves you.
A
female
reader, Trinny +, writes (8 September 2007):
 I was like you when i was younger, all the girls in my year were bragging about thay had done, but it didn't bother me because i new somewhere out there when the time was right i would meet the person i wanted to be with and he would want to be with me and i did and now i am happily married. So i say to you so what if them girls have done all them things, it will happen to you when the right time and the right guy comes. There is no rush, so take no notice and carry on with your life. You don't have to do it because they have it wont feel right, you will do it when it is right for you. Some one is out there for you and you will meet him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): The fact no one has touched you in the way, has nothing to deal with being attractive. Just wanting to be sexual just to get kicks when you have no feeling for the other person is wrong.
You might come across to the guys as someone who is stronger, has more respect for yourself than your friends. At your age, guys don't look for the strong when getting their kicks, they was the easy week girls, that don't present any challenge.
If it's your strength that's keeping them from trying to get it, I comment you developing in that direction at your age. It's a quality that will be important later on too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Experience is a very wrong word here. Experience means: they know where to touch and where to lick and where to finger. But that all doesnt matter. What matters is that you mean something when you touch and not just: I want to learn how to do. It's not an examination or anything. You shouldn't feel that you are obligated to have sexual experiences. Wait 'till the right moment.
From: The li'l helper.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): Huni,
i am 15, 5'6, 11st and perfectly happy with myself and the fact i just have guy FRIENDS at the moment. we still have the whole of are lives in front of us so why rush? i would bet most of your friends are lying because they want to sound impressive. move at your own pace and you will be fine.
also, i would like to stress, no one is unattractive or ugly or anything like that. we are all just UNIQUE.
anyway, when they are all 16y old single teen mums with 100 kids and no life wont you just be sooo happy you waited and did things in your own time!
dont listen to any of them and goodluck. i hope things turn out right for you. xxxx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (3 September 2007):
 You have received some good advice from Yos and Jess below. Everyone is different. You yourself are unique! You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you're sensible so don't let the fact you haven't been with anyone get you down. Tell yourself you ARE beautiful and anyone that goes out with you is very lucky. Take pride in who and what you are and think of the positives here. Some girls your age have been branded "slappers" and "easy" because of their prosmiscuousness, some of them already have kids! Because of peer pressure and lack of patience they have lost out on the best years of their lives and carry around with them heavy burdens because of the choices they made. YOU don't have any of that! You have your whole life ahead of you, you're free as a bird to continue with your education and make the correct choices in life.
My advice to you is to continue with your studies, get good grades, go out and enjoy yourself with friends but respect yourself and respect your body. Be an example to your friends, that way they will respect you and value your friendship. Let your personality shine, always smile and be there for your friends. You will get noticed by males and females alike if you are happy in yourself and with who you are and you'll be very much admired for this.
Make time to pamper yourself too, have at least one night a week where you can concentrate on you. Go in a bubble bath, shave your legs, colour your hair, experiment with make up, pluck your eyebrows, listen to your favourite music, experiment with clothes, all the things girls your age should be doing. And take time out to contemplate what you REALLY want from life then study hard to attain that. Assert yourself and keep taking in knowledge too. In time you'll emerge as a beautiful, assertive, grounded woman with goals in life. This in itself is very attractive to the opposite sex and in time you'll be picking and choosing who you want to go out with.
We're not on this earth long so grasp your life with both hands and don't worry about the little things. Focus on YOU and what YOU want to do in your life and everything else will fall into place, that's a promise!
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): I just had to leave you a little advice because you remind me so much of myself it seems like you tore out a page of my diary and typed it onto this site!I remember feeling EXACTLY the same way, believe me I was reading an old diary of mine that I found and I'm sure it's pretty much word-for-word exactly the same as your question. Except one of my issues was my height too (I'm 5"9') as well as weight, looks and experience. I'm 17 now and I still haven't gone past the making out stage and I've been with my first boyfriend since May and he is quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. Trust me, I felt the same way as you from the age of 14 until well, until I met my boyfriend. I felt ugly, repulsive, unwanted and ashamed because all my friends are gorgeous and sexually active and I hadn't even SLIGHTLY kissed a guy until May and I was 17! But what you need to remember is that there is a right time for everyone. Just because you're pressured to do things at a certain age definately doesn't mean you should be doing it, everyone is different and so if things were left to happen naturally (instead of forced by peer pressure)then age ranges for when people do their "firsts" of anything would vary hugely because Everyone Is Different. Please just remember that you won't be alone forever, you are just fifteen. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to be like everyone else you need to just relax, sit back and enjoy growing up. Whatever happens will happen when it's supposed to and if you don't rush into anything and wait for it to happen on its own (trust me it will) then everything will be right, the person you meet, how things happen and everything will just be good! I know I've rambled a lot but its hard to explain. Just don't be ashamed of your lack of experience, and just be yourself and be HAPPY! That way, your prince charming will find you just as your about to give up and he will love you the way you are, because you have been totally yourself. Sorry if this has been confusing, feel free to message me if you have any questions! Jess xxxx
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A
female
reader, sillzsarah +, writes (3 September 2007):
 yos is right hun ;-)all though waiting isnt exacly the greatest thing to do you have to do it and then soon it will all be wirth it :-)then when you have the guy of your dreams and start a brill relationship with him have kids etc all your friends will be so geluss that you will be the lucky one :-D just follow ure life hun dont lt it rush before your eyes wait and see :-) im sure your very buitifull any boys will be dribbling in front of you lol :-)take care mail me xxx
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (3 September 2007):
 When the right boy comes along you'll know, he'll know and it will be fine. Sounds silly and the waiting sucks, but it is true.In the mean time, it might help to think of a few things:- Some of your friends are likely to be lying. Most people your age are ashamed of lack of sexual experience and many make it up to look cool. So when you say 'all your friends have done x', it's really likely not to be true. Lots of my friends told me about their 'sex adventures', but when I lost my virginity (age 17) suddenly they seemed very keen to know what 'sex was actually like'. Funny that.- It's good that you don't want 'sex' at this age, you are young and whilst we can physically have sex early, it takes a while to be able to better handle the emotions that come with it. Sex does include oral sex (hence the 'sex' in the name 'oral sex', bit of a giveaway!). You should think carefully about where your boundaries are because any young guy who is into you will want to push them. ie, is just kissing ok, or anything and everything except penetration?- Don't feel you have to settle for less because of this. Many people get fed up waiting for someone 'right' and just end up having sex with someone they don't like because that person shows interest in them. Everyone who does this ends up regretting it for a LONG time afterwards. My girlfriend is still angry with herself for doing this 20 years after she did it!Good sex is great, but bad sex is a lot worse than no sex. It's really true. Waiting is worth it.In the mean time how about spending more time out with your friends and maybe making a few more? That will help you become more confident which in turn will help you with boys (in various ways).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): dont worry its not you theres someone out there for everyone n u just havent found them yet but u will cause everyone has something special about them n everyone deserves to be happi dont worry ur time will come dont worry until then just enjoy ur life !! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): dont worry its not you theres someone out there for everyone n u just havent found them yet but u will cause everyone has something special about them n everyone deserves to be happi dont worry ur time will come dont worry until then just enjoy ur life !! xx
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A
male
reader, loverman86 +, writes (3 September 2007):
 send me some private mail let me look at ur face and everything and ill try and help i dont know why u have have no experience by the way the age on my account is wrong im 14
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): helpme: honey, you don't need any help. You are doing great. You don't need any of those things your girlmates are doing. They may seem to be "popular" with guys, but it is not the kind of popularity you want. You should hear what guys/blokes say about those girls when they talk among themselves. You stay who you are. Don't be pressured to do anything you aren't comfortable with. And forget what you may be called. It is BS. And, trust me, there are some young guys out there who feel just the same way you do. You will meet one someday. Be patient. Just be you now. Luvs, Tom
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A
female
reader, HeartbrokenHere +, writes (3 September 2007):
i know how you feel.i am 16 and have had ZERO exp[ericne with guys, i have a close friend called Jack, most we've done is hugged but hes like my best friend. we attempted going out but to me it didnt feel right. i know how it feels. so dont worry ! you'll find that special someone who will make you feel amazing ! if you wanna chat feel free to messag emexx
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A
female
reader, BeckyBadger +, writes (3 September 2007):
 Hello,Try not to panic or worry at the situation. I guess your friends do believe that it is quite strange that you have not done any of these things yet, but I would really not worry about it.If I were you I would make a point of going out and enjoying spending time with your mates as much as possible, and there is no need to worry about how big your group of friends are, try to hang out with all different people, this will make you more popular, and seem more misterious to the boys, making them want to flirt with you more. But never rush into it beacuse you think you have to, take it at your pace, I admire you for knowing you want to waite until you are ready for sex, and thats the best attitude!Flirting tips!Thats the only problem when boys take an interest, girls who are shy tend to try and throw them off, instead when you see a boy looking at you, smile shyly, only for a short while and the keep talking with your friends, this drives them made and pritty soon they will be over to talk to you and not just flirt from afar!I have loads more tips if you ever need them from me, simply send me a private message and i can help!Or email me at [email address blocked]hope I helped!And good luck!BeckyBadger
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): why dont you try going out with some of your friends and meeting new people. your only 15, the most important thing to understand is it aint a race. im sure a guy will find you attractive and start talking to you, and take it from there. just make more oppertunities by meeting people and youll get there in no time. just give it more time.
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