A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, i am sumit and I would like to ask a question. I am a 26 year old man, unmarried but I have a married girlfriend and I can't live without her, thing is she doesn't want to leave her husband OR also me. what do I do? Please tell me urgently... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): If this is a 'real' relationship as you say it is since you call her your girlfriend, then treat this issue as you would any other serious deal-breaker type relationship problems.
Talk to her about this. tell her what you want. Ask her why she won't leave her husband if she supposedly wants to be with you. What is it she wants, what is her purpose? See if you can work out a solution. If she is reluctant to leave her husband because she's afraid to be alone, then suggest she go to counseling to develop more self confidence. If she is reluctant to leave her husband because of financial security, then it comes down to does she value material wealth over a true relationship? If she is afraid to leave her husband because he is violent, then she needs police help ASAP.
But if she simply won't leave her husband, then you need to decide what YOU can live with. Can you live with only stolen moments of 'joy' and running around in secret and the guilt? This is not psychologically healthy for you. And it is not a real relationship and won't ever become one as long as these are the circumstances. You could choose to continue it and hope it naturally fizzles out over time without much ado. But usually it doesn't end that way...usually it ends with a lot of pain and hurt and maybe also a lot of drama if you get found out.
A
male
reader, Latino201  +, writes (7 November 2010):
REALITY CHECK: You do NOT have a girlfriend. You are helping a woman cheat. This is wrong on so many levels and also dangerous. Leave her and stop being so easy. If she gets a divorce and wants to date.. fine. If not, move on. Easy as that.
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