A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend of 4 yrs. He said he loves me very much n he is absolutely jealous over me that even my girl friends are a threat 2 him. I told him last night that I'm pregnant for three months and he suggested that i should abort. Does he love me? I want the child. He's married but he and his wife have a son and they are maybe on separation. He's a european and i'm an african. We met in my country. HELP!
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female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (18 October 2008):
sorry to say this, but he sounds a bit controlling. yes ok it is important that you both agree on things in a relationship, but he can't just expect you to go and have an abortion just like that. if you want the baby then you should have the baby. abortions are not just a quick fix,a friend of mine had one years ago and it still plays on her mind now, even though she has a lovely little boy now. so don't do it if you don't want to.
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (18 October 2008):
 Sweetheart you need to do what is right for you. It is your body at the end of the day.
You have known him for 4 years and so this is not just a fling but I do wonder if he and his wife are truly separated or not.
He is either trying not to acknowledge his actions in getting you pregnant or fears that he will have to pay his way for another child which could be difficult as he does not live in your country but I think that he should have sat down and talked things through with you rather than just suggest abortion. It is a huge thing to say to a woman and it is a massive decision to make as once it is done there is no going back.
Abortion lives with a woman for a very long time and the guilt never goes away that you stopped a life from forming.
How do you feel about this baby, do you want to keep it and can you support it or get help without the father's intervention?
You need to think things through for you and address the fact that you are probably going to end up as a single mum as he does not sound like a responsible adult but someone who likes having someone around but without complications such as a child to support.
Don't act rashly, think it through and make the right decision for you. Only you know what that is. Get advice from your friends and family and your own doctor so that you know what support you can expect in the future whatever you decide.
I cannot say what you must do but when a life is formed then both people are responsible, was there any contraception being used at the time or not?
Keep us posted OK.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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