A
female
age
36-40,
*arkKnight86
writes:Ok so here is my dilemma I am 29 dating my friend who is married he is 30 and his twin brother who is also 30. Ok so how this happened was I just recently moved back home and I ran into an old friend of mine that I have had a crush on since I was like 18/19 well I told them how I felt and they told me how they felt about me and that they wished I had told them before they got married.I didn't know when they got married...anyways we got to talking and he was telling me how he was unhappy in his marriage and other such stuff well we decided to get together, because he told me he was leaving his wife and moving into his trailer that he owns (no his wifes name is not on it) They both agreed that they wanted to be with me which I was like ok we can try this and see how it goes. About a week or 2 ago my friend/roommate told me that we are together but not together. My married bf and I have been talking a lot more and he claims he is still leaving his wife and has his stuff ready but he doesn't want his wife to find out about us because he doesn't want to lose his stuff. Which to me sounds like he cares more about his stuff then being with me. what should I do in this situation? I just need advise!!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 September 2016):
 Would you please clarify ? Yours sounds like an interesting situation; only, you pass so casually from " they " to
" he " and back that I could not make neither head nor tail of it.
How does the twin figure in all this ?
Are you dating both twins ? and are they both married ?... How many people should move into the trailer ? Your friend / roommate is the same person as your married bf ?... Just out of interest.
Anyway, I think that the standard advice applies to you which applies to all the mistresses who ask " what should I do ". What you should do, is to NOT date a married man
( or two ). Stick to single guys. ) 99% of times married men are much more headaches than they are worth.
This one, for instance, IMO is using a classic , time honoured stringing along technique. He needs to move out his stuff before telling his wife , OK. ( Btw: OK my foot !, this is an incredibly dickheaded move. One would think that if peole wants to leave their wife, they would have the common courtesy to tell her first, rather than just vanishing into thin air, they and their belongings as well ). Anyway- he needs to move his stuff out - then why doesn't he just do it ??.
I had to relocate a few times in my life, moving from X to Y the contents and forniture of a LARGE 3 bedroom apartment, and the personal belongings of 3 people , including massive and cumbersome collections of books, vynils and toys - it takes one working day to clear everything up, and the same the day after to unload and set things up. A heck of a job, yes, but definitely doable- and I doubt that for him it's so much stuff if he needs to fit it into a trailer.
In fact, if his intention is to remove his belongings without his wife knowing- all he can bring away is a suitcase of clothes, more or less. She would definitely notice and ask questions , if he were to take away their grand piano ! :) - or simply, their TV set.
Personally I think he is bullshitting you . I bet you 50 that this moving out will be postponed again and again to an undisclosed future date.
Anyway, even in case I were wrong about this specific issue- I don't change my general advice, which is : let it go. There are so many single guys around, no baggage no complications, .. and you have to share your man and hide and live a lie ?....
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (15 September 2016):
It is often very difficult to meet up with an old boyfriend.However his feelings for you must have not been very strong for you first time round,otherwise he would not have marries someone else.Now he is a Married man,and cheating on his wife....remember their are 2 sides to every relationship.Sometimes a married man will offer you the sun,moon and stars....and still remain with the wife.Perhaps its not the ..stuff...he means,but his mind is not made up fully about leaving his wife.As you stated he Claims he is leaving his wife,so actions speak louder then words.Sometimes a married man maybe Never leave his wife.You deserve to be with a man who is FREE to love and respect you and value you as a person at all levels.After all if a man cheats on his wife...he could also cheat on you...did you ever think of that.Try and make a wise choice for you.Kind regards.NORA B.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (15 September 2016):
 Sorry, am I reading this correctly? (Have read it through twice and still confused.) Are you "dating" twins? At the same time? And you are all planning to move in together, into a trailer, and "see how it goes"?
IF I have read this correctly then I have only one thing to say: they are using you for threesome sex. Get out of there. FAST. Your married lover will NOT be leaving his wife. He is playing for time so he can share you with his twin. Unless you are happy living this fantasy, even though there is no way it will end well, tell them you are out. I doubt you will though.
(Off topic, it did make me smile that you felt you needed to tell us his twin was "also 30" - like he would be a different age, being his twin!)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2016): ". . . he claims he is still leaving his wife and has his stuff ready but he doesn't want his wife to find out about us because he doesn't want to lose his stuff. Which to me sounds like he cares more about his stuff then being with me."Which to me it sounds like he has no intention of leaving his wife and is just stringing you along so he can continue living out his sick twisted fantasy of banging the same chick as his twin brother. "what should I do in this situation?"Realize you are being exploited by two scumbags who are shamelessly taking advantage of your complete lack of common sense and your complete lack of a moral compass, and remember that any guy who is capable of cheating on his wife is capable of cheating on his piece on the side whom he is sharing with his twin brother.
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