A
male
age
41-50,
*ighlander1982
writes:Hi, I hope you can help, i recently got married only 7 months ago and two days ago we had an arguement over mobile phone texts which isnt alot a know but it has been a build up over a year or so of things and she has now walked out on our marriage saying that she does not want to try and fix it as she knows it wont work we have had several arguements over the year and said that we will work things out and change but neither of us change anything and just fall back in to our ways, i really dont want to lose her but i feel i already have, i aint stopped crying for two days and repeatadly ask her to stay to work to things out. she says that she still loves me but not as a lover only as a friend and it hurts me so so much i would and will do anything to secure my future with my wife but i am very scared at this moment as she is not giving us the chance. I want us to have the love that we had and know is there back again. If anyone can help in any way i would be truly grateful.I really dont want to lose her she is everything to me and all that i have weve been together for 5years an married for 7 months.
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Hi,
can I just ask one question, what were the arguments over the mobile texts about? I feel you have left something out here, as it seems a rather frivilous excuse for leaving a marriage .
A
female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Ask her if she still loves you. She did marry you so there must be something there, even though you both argue, so do every married couple. A marriage without arguments ( to clear the air ) is considered unhealthy, you should tell her this before she over reacts again and considers filing for divorce. If you can find a way to sort this out without splitting then do so because its a shame to waste what you have, and have worked hard for.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): Wow, a marriage without arguments is not much of a marriage, you are going to argue and disagree and if you can't work through that without the threat of leaving then that is not good. Perhaps you can ask your wife to have some relationship or marriage counseling with you so that you can better learn to fight fair, or work through disagreements, or come to the decision to go ahead and divorce....if that is the case, it is much better to do so before children come along. I know you are hurting, and there isn't much I can say to make you feel better, your wife is wrong for walking out and not honoring her commitment to your marriage....but you can't make her do anything she isn't wanting to do...it is not your fault, but something is definately not working...so you need to ask for help from a professional, that shows strength of character, not weakness, it shows commitment to grow in your relationship, which if you cannot grow, your relationship will die. Take care.
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