A
female
age
36-40,
*annadie15
writes:i m at d worst stage of life. i m a just passed out enggineer age 22. my parents promised me for havin an mba n just after d month i graduated they fixed out a guy 4 marriage.i did a blunder 2 yrs earlier by being in a relationship wid a married man..(dis man fooled me n ditched me.).so i agreed for the marriage..meanwhile i was chatting wid a guy from a matrimonial site...v both liked each othr..before gettin engaged i told my mom about this guy...she constantly refused..so i accepted n moved 4 engagmnt...my fiance is a boring stuff,slow ,with nothin i like in him..hes good as a person but he i can never love a person lik him...i kept in touch wid d chat frnd even aftr engagemnt..his family calld up my parents and tried 2 convince bt no use...at d end my dad took information abt his caste n all and came 2 knw that hes from a differnt caste..n thus my chat frnd 2 have lied me...i was ready 2 run away wid him...still i kept on tryin...my fiance came 2 knw abt all dis...he calld my parents..my parents consoled him n made him ready 2 forgive and forget...last nite my parents begged me to do no more faults and asked me 2 get married peacefully...i lost my parents trust, fiance is irritating...i love my chat frnd bt he lied me too abt his caste...my marriage is in december......what do i do...i m getting all negative...plzzzzzzz help me i beg u all...plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cheannryl  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Wow!im happy for you:)
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Thanks to God indeed xxxx
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A
female
reader, wannadie15 +, writes (21 October 2010):
wannadie15 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey thanks 2 allllllllllllllll u thr.....GOD! i m spared my parents have agreed d marriage is broken n i m relieved.................so happy love u all 4 support n suggetions...dis is d best moment in my lyf will remembr u alllllllllllllll...god bless
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A
male
reader, howtoextract  +, writes (19 October 2010):
every aspect of life depends, you need consider what you heritage and belive,,all parents they want better life for their children ..sometimes difficult to choose but you need balance and what the real situation .. later on you are the one to decide...
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A
female
reader, cheannryl +, writes (15 October 2010):
It's your life,gotta right to choose.stnd for it,they can't force you to marry that guy,or they'll kill you first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): hey
im indian
but i dont live in india
however i understand what you are going through
to be honest the caste system was removed my ghandhi hence your parents should not be following it as it is not right
i know people in india still do - however that technically goes against gandhi's teachings
does it really matter what caste he is from?
its not that much of an issue as people in india make it out to be
use the example of ghandhi to persaude your parents
im indian and im going out with a white' european guy
because my parents know he treats me well
im 16 btw
and its your choice not your parents as its your life!
if they love you they should understand this rather than worry about society
x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 October 2010):
Its really difficult to change what is a part of your culture. Your parents have chosen for you and it seems they wont listen to your worries about your fiance. Could you not ask them to reconsider and maybe find someone else who you like better?. If this isnt possible I dont know what else you can do.
One of my indian friends had an arranged marriage but her parents chose 4 different potential husbands and she was given time to decide which one she would marry. She asked her parents for this choice because she said she wanted to honour her mother and father with a long and happy marriage and give them no concerns about her happiness in the future. She has been married for twenty years now and is very happy with 4 children.
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