A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me (24) and my boyfriend (42) pick up a traveling girl, we helped her break up with her boyfriend. Well my BF had been talking about bringing another girl into the bedroom with us... I'm not really into sharing and I warned him I might hurt her out of jealousy, but he assured me he loves me and it would only be for pleasure. I said I would maybe try and think about it. Well this bimbo... It's raining and we are on the road so we get a hotel. Him and I have sex while she's in the shower and he's trying to invite her in bed with us. Thank God she's getting over her ex and stays in the bathroom till we are done. My BF tells me to stay naked the whole time. She sees me and him naked walking around. It made me uncomfortable (I've even been to a ton of naked hot springs and never felt this uncomfortable). She somehow ends up on our bed cuddled up against him. His hand on the inside of her thigh. I know how good that feels. So I fell asleep so I wasn't part of any of it.. I wake up at 4:30 am to seeing them spooning like white on rice. He cuddled her better than he cuddles me! WTF... So I take a forever shower and walk the dog and he wakes up asking what I'm doing.. Not gettin back on bed with you 2 was my thought. I was pissed and on fire. Wanted to beat her and him up in their sleep I was so mad. But that's not me to hit someone. The next day our plan was to FTP my BF off on the mountain so he could get things done and I could visit my mom. Well she stayed with him in the mountain and I'm left to wonder if she is sticking her ass in my mans crotch every night to stay warm in the rain... that's not cool. I feel disrespected and I do not feel like I need to share my loving experience with anyone except with my man. So what to do? I will know if he got his satisfacton when I see them.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 March 2014):
 At 24 you should RUN from this creep as soon as you can.
he's disrespecting you. he does not care about you... all he cares about is keeping his dick warm in any available spot.
He's all about HIM not you or your "coupledom". YOU have no respect for yourself or for him. He has none for you.
This is not the hitchhiker's fault. This is YOUR FAULT for permitting this creep, this dog, this mammal you call a boyfriend to bully both of you into serving him. He is selfish, immature and inconsiderate.
The fact that you see nothing wrong with his behavior other than it bothers you (not that he's IMMORAL or inconsiderate or selfish) is part of the problem.
Not sure how long you have been with him, but this is NOT how a loving partner acts towards his mate. He has no respect for you. LEAVE HIM.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 March 2014):
 I agree with WiseOwlE.
Break up with him, seriously.
He is taking advantage of you being so much younger then him, and he is TRYING to groom you into accepting whatever little kinks he can think up.
Don't blame the other girl. I'm guess she thinks you are OK with it.
And don't DO things you DO NOT want to do JUST to please a man. It will leave you on the losing end.
If you normally live with him, then I say stay with your mom til you can get back on your feet and be INDEPENDENT.
This sounds more like a recipe for disaster and mayhem, then a good solid loving relationship.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (3 March 2014):
 p.s. If you don't want a threesome, tell him outright (I mean him/ men in general because I hope you've already dumped this man) - don't say you'll think about it if you already know. Set your boundaries, don't be ashamed of them, and make them clear and unshakable. Nothing wrong with staying open minded but we are all allowed to have certain things that are dead set 'no thank you' - it doesn't make you boring or unsexy. It makes you confident and assured. And more likely to be respected.
Also, don't blame the "bimbo" - it's not her fault she ended up in this weird situation with a man trying to instigate a threesome. She didn't know that was part of the deal. I just hope she managed to fend off his advances on the mountain. Your anger should only be directed at your boyfriend. She's a bystander/ potential victim. Not your enemy.
Anyway, all the best. Sorry for your situation, I hope you make the wise choice of kicking him out of your van and your life.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (3 March 2014):
He sounds like an old (compared to you) sleaze ball who doesn't have an ounce of respect for you. Move on ....
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (3 March 2014):
You should dump him as soon as possible.He clearly doesn't love or respect you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): That makes me sick. Don't be with a man who treats you that way. Get away from him before he takes away any self respect you have for yourself. Find someone who makes you feel special and loved.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (3 March 2014):
Dear OP,
I am wondering why you want to hit that girl and call her bimbo.. it's your boyfriend (or man-friend, seeing he's so old he could be your dad) who's the ass here.
He's using you and a broken-hearted girl who's trying to get over her ex as two actresses for his private fantasies. She didn't initiate any action, it was your boyfriend, from the start. He planned to have sex with you while she was in the shower and acted like a porn director, while she hid there and didn't really want to get involved. Maybe he's a charmer and he made her feel like "everything's going to be okay", but clearly he used a lonely and sad woman he picked up on the road. For his own pleasure and not yours, at all.
My advice is to go and look for another boyfriend. He's having sex (or some form of intimacy) with someone else right in front of you and expects you to just go along with it. He will continue like this and make you feel like you're stuck up, hurt or of less value for the rest of the relationship. He's insensitive and ignoring everything you say about your wishes and taboos. Do you want this?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): You dump your boyfriend. That's exactly what you do.
He wants an open relationship, and you don't. Of course he will tell you how much he loves you, so you'll allow him to bring another female into the mix.
Well, he did the deed. He was only asking for your permission to sleep with another woman. You allowed it to happen. Now give him up to the so-called "bimbo." He kept pressuring you until he got what he wanted. He no longer wants an exclusive relationship. He's just not that into you, anymore.
I'm so sorry how this turned out for you. You're better off to move on, and find someone more suitable and maybe younger.
His age made you more inclined to yield to his will. If he were younger, you would have been a lot less flexible. Age doesn't matter; but older people have a way of using our maturity to appear as more of an authority-figure. Older men can be quite inflexible and stubborn.
Find your way home and start your healing. This does not feel like good advice now. It is the most practical under such circumstances. Put your feelings first.
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