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anonymous
writes: Question: involved an in love w wonderful man who is leaving his wife-everything between us perfect except sex...kissing, cuddling, etc all perfect-but he loses his erection each time we try to have full sex. He says it is emotional and I believe it is. They have not ended it in every way, he's decent and can't handle the duplicity.They have been having sex 25 years and have no problems this way. He can have oral sex w me no problem except that I don't think he likes it as much as w her. Help! No one has ever had this problem w me before -or any complaints with me before-I am devastated-I want him completely and he says he does too!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): I have had this problem with my new man for 3 months.
Everything else is great, except the fact that every time he goes to put it inside me, it goes soft, or he comes immediately, something which is hard to figure out sometimes as he pokes around for a second and goes quiet, this has been hot and heavy sex but all of a sudden a couple of times now i have felt extra wetness and he just carries on like we DID IT
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): Guilt is eating him up it seems. He probably is still in love with his wife and when having sex with you he has flashs or visions of her that causes this. He may care for you too but maybe not as much as he does her. Move on he still loves her and will never leave her
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reader, dear caroline +, writes (27 June 2005):
sorry but else can i say? DONT GET INVOLVED WITH MARRIED MEN! hes not yours and never will be, hes MARRIED. i mean, come on, what do you expect? if you say you love him then you have to leave him alone, hes MARRIED! although hes affair with you is morally wrong but obviously he loves hes wife, he would have left her by now if he didnt. Have you even concidered how much hes wife loves him? probably not! move on, get on with your life, there are plenty of SINGLE MEN out there to choose from, good luck.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (20 June 2005):
Im assuming his wifr doesnt know about you. this sounds as though he is feeling guilty and it comes out in this way. Hes been having sex with the same person for 25 years, and all of a sudden there is someone new. Perhaps he isnt ready to really leave his wife and this is the way it which is mind is working and not allowing him to have sex with you as he feels quilty, and knows that whilst he is still married to his wife he shouldnt be having relatins with other woman. I suspect that he still feels alot for her and he probably isnt ready to leave her. Maybe you should have an open discussion and see why it is that he wants to leave his wife ? is it just because you came on the scene ? was everything okay before then ? although you say you both want a sexual relationship his marriage to his wife is holding him back and it seems he cannot yet move on from that. If he is serious about leaving her, then maybe thigns will come together once he has left her. But for the time being he knows he is doing wrong and thats coming out in this way, until he can move on from his wife i dont think the situation will change. Maybe ask if he is just after a bit on the side and if he does still love his wife. If he still loves her then i think that maybe he should stay with her as thats where it sounds he is emotionally. Have a chat and see how the land lies, it may be that you two are not meant to be together, and he wants to stay with his wife, but fancied a bit on the side, and now that its happend he cant seem to go through with it.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (20 June 2005):
The answer is crystal clear.The man you are having an affair with is suffering from Guilt...that is why he loses his erection.You state he is a decent man & cannot handle the duplicity.If you TRULY love this man...release him so he can sort out his life & finalize a Divorce..then he will be FREE AND CLEAR to pursue you & share a life together.Sneaking around on a partner is no way to live.If he was married to YOU, how would you feel if he was having an affair with another woman, but still coming home to your bed & having sex with you, too?You can bet your bank account that his wife suspects something..she's been married to him for 25 years !You also state that "no one has ever had this problem with me before."Honey, if he's really a decent man...you should expect it !Practice integrity in your life...don't get involved with married men...you deserve a man who is ALL YOURS, not someone who has "not ended it in every way."If your love for each other is strong & true, it will stand the test of time...abstain from sex totally until he actually LEAVES his wife & the divorce is finalized.You will have MUCH more respect for each other, and so much more to look forward to in the future !It will also PROVE to you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, whether he loves you for you, or he will continue to stay married to his wife & seek extra marital affairs.If you continue on this path, your life will be full of confusion & doubt...BE TRUE TO YOURSELF !
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